


You Can Leave Me if You Wish, My Love

by Ellovesgirls



Series: You Can Leave Me [1]
Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/F, Kim and Zack are bros, Kim loves trini, just stick with me guys this is going somewhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-02 12:18:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12726474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellovesgirls/pseuds/Ellovesgirls
Summary: Trini is gone and the rangers are still trying to pick up the pieces. It doesn't help that Zack is denying that they're even still a team without their yellow, nor that Kimberly is nearly hysterical and refuses to believe her best friend is actually gone. Together the four remaining rangers must rely on each other to defeat Lord Zedd and accept that yellow will no longer be just a color. Until they start to realize maybe Kimberly isn't so crazy after all. Maybe yellow isn't completely gone.





	1. Give Me All Your Love Now

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 10am Gare Du Nord by Keaton Henson. It's such a Trimberly song and I am prepared to fight someone on that.

Kim turned the simple yellow beanie over in her hands. It still smelled like her. 

Everything reminded Kim of her. From the undisturbed indent she had left in Kimberly's pillow that night-- Kim hadn't slept in her bed in a week, being there, surrounded by her scent made her chest heavy and her throat close-- then, there was the small saber tooth tiger she had drawn on the edge of Kim's biology notes only nine days ago. Nine days that  now  felt like nine years. 

“Kimberly, sweetheart, are you ready?” there was a soft knock on her bedroom door. When she didn't answer, her mother,  Maddy , opened the door slowly. “You aren't ready?”

Kim shook her head, eyes locked on the beanie in her fists. “I don't know if I can do this, mom.” her voice cracked and a single tear trailed from the corner of her eye and dripped off the tip of her nose.

Maddy let out a strangled  breath and rushed to her daughter's side, wrapping her in  a  protective embrace. “It's okay, sweetie. You don't have to do this if you don't want to. Nobody will blame you.”

Kimberly rested her head against her mother's collarbone, she wanted to cry, needed the tears to fall so they could burst from her chest and stop threatening to suffocate her. She needed to cry, but couldn't. She had been crying nonstop since that night.

“I need to. She's my best friend. She needs me. The boys, too.” Kimberly said.

“Do you want us to come along? Your father can always reschedule his meeting, and I can visit your grandmother another day.” Maddy said stroking Kimberly's short hair. She had always loved her daughter's long dark hair, and she was a little shocked when Kim had cut it, but she had to admit, the Hart women could sure as hell rock short hair.

“No, that's okay.” Kim said pulling away. Running her hand over the smooth surface of the hat she took a deep breath, “I'll be okay. I promise.” she added when she noticed the deep frown lines against her mother's smooth skin.

“Alright, Kim.” she pressed a gentle kiss to Kim's temple, “Call if you need anything at all.”

Kim only nodded as her mother searched her face for any sign of falsity before closing the door behind her.

 

* * *

 

Everything was harder the second Kim entered the church. Jason, Billy, and Zack sought her out immediately. “Hey,” Jason smiled grimly, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, likely to keep from picking at his nails-- a nervous habit he'd acquired since the cow incident. 

“Hi.” she sighed. Jason looked rough, she probably did, too, but he looked like he'd aged fifty years over the span of the last few days. His blond curls were unbrushed, his blue eyes were bloodshot-- either from crying or lack of sleep-- and his fair skin had grown immensely paler.

Zack didn't look much better. In fact, he looked the worst of them all. He seemed to almost fold into himself anytime someone approached him. “Zack,” Kim choked out before throwing herself into his arms. 

He let out a broken sob as he crushed her against his chest, “It should be me up there.” he cried into her hair. “This is ridiculous. We don't even know this is real. I mean this is all just for show, right? That stupid box up there doesn't even have anything in it. How do we even know she's really gone?”

“Shh,” Jason wrapped his arms around the two of them, “We're all thinking it, Zack, but here is not the place for this conversation.” 

Billy stood awkwardly to the side, not one for touching, “If she really is still out there, though, wouldn't she have tried to contact us, or at least Kimberly? Based on past experience, she seems to have a more intimate relationship with Kimberly, not in a romantic way, I mean more in a platonic way seeing as she opened up to Kimberly more than the rest of us. Even Zack likely would have gotten a sign by now before either me or Jason-”

“Billy!” Jason cut in, “We can discuss this later. Right now, we need to be here. As far as I know this is real. And telling ourselves it's not isn't going to bring her back. Right here, right now, we're not Power Rangers. We're her friends. We're the people who loved her most and that's what every other person in this room is expecting us to be. We're more than Power Rangers. We're her friends.”

Kim squeezed her eyes tightly and pressed her forehead further into Zack's chest, hoping that if she fought the world hard enough she'd open her eyes to her old life.  The one where the color yellow didn't bring her to her knees.

 

* * *

 

The Power Rangers took the pew behind the Gomez family. The twins were staring blankly at the terrifying truth balanced on the white marble  table in front of them. The boys might've been too young to completely understand what was happening, but they were smart enough to know there was a reason their sister wasn't seated between them protectively. June was sobbing loudly as Marcos sat solemnly, unmoving. The red velvet and dark wood of the church gave the room a dark glow. 

_She would hate this._ Kim thought to herself as she looked around at all the people. There were a bunch of kids from school lingering in the back and the pews were lined with people Kim had never seen before. Likely family.

“Do they even know what her name is?” Kim whispered harshly to her friends.

“Doubt it.” Zack spat through clenched teeth, “None of them even cared about her. They shouldn't be here.”

“This isn't her.” Billy acknowledged, “She liked us and she liked being a Power Ranger. She wouldn't want all these people here.”

They all agreed silently. 

The ceremony was nice. If a funeral could be considered nice. A lot of people spoke. Kim didn't really listen. All she could think about was that day and how it started out so normal. How the week started like any other and how it was ending with her best friend being represented by an empty coffin while people who hardly knew her, let alone cared, spoke about how wonderful and short-lived her life was.  As if they knew she was the reason they were all standing here today. As if they knew how truly amazing and brilliant and beautiful she was.

The ceremony was hard, but the actual funeral was so much worse. The four remaining rangers stood, arms linked, next to an open grave as a coffin filled with air was lowered into the ground. At least her headstone was nice. June had come to each of them personally and asked what they thought her daughter might have wanted on her headstone, not because she didn't know, but because she had hoped that the four people who her daughter loved the most could possible give her one last memory or quote or thought to remember her only daughter by.

Kimberly stared at the words etched in the granite.  _Thank you for being my friends._ A simple line, originally said by Billy the first time they thought they were going to die, but the last time they'd thought they were going to die, they last time they saw her alive, these were the last words they'd heard her say before everything went to hell and they woke up in a world slightly duller, a world absent of yellow.

June had broken down in tears when they'd each told her the same line. They couldn't explain what it meant without  revealing the secret of the five masked vigilantes, instead they told her it was something her daughter told them all the time. She just loved them all so much. That last part was true.

When the coffin was in the ground and everything suddenly became real. Kim felt the floodgates break and every emotion she'd been trying to hold onto for the last week hit her like a truck. “Trini,” she sobbed, “I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Trini.” 

It was like a domino effect. Kimberly's sobs rang out over the valley mixed with Zack's angry screams as Jason held onto him trying to keep the taller boy from launching himself into the dirt after his best friend, “No!” Zack shoved Jason away, “No! I won't let you do this! I won't let you leave me!” 

June cried into her husband's neck as the twins held each other silently. Kimberly was on her knees trying her hardest to remember how to breath. Zack broke out of Jason's grip and ran.

The Red Ranger took off after him leaving Billy to help Kimberly to her feet so they could meet in the Pit. They all knew that's where Zack was headed.

 

 

And true to instinct, they found the Black Ranger pounding putties to dust in the empty cavern. His face was bright red as his shouts of effort mixed with strangled sobs. 

“Zack, please.” Kim whimpered, “Please, stop! Killing yourself isn't going to do anything to bring Trini back.”

“You don't think I know that?!” he snapped, spinning around and smashing his fist into to the hard rock wall. “You don't think I don't lie awake every night replaying that fight over and over again asking myself what the fuck I could have done to stop her? What could I have done to prevent her from dying? To trade my life for hers? I can't unhear her voice, Kim! I can't unhear that horrible noise she made when her Zord crashed into that mountain.” Zack crumpled to his knees with a gut wrenching scream. None of them moved. 

__

Finally, it was Billy who spoke. “Last night I couldn't sleep.” three heads turned to the small voice. Billy who had not cried once, Billy who had been strong for each of them, Billy who had died for them and come back for them was now asking them with his wide brown eyes to hold him as he cried and wipe away his tears. He sniffled and allowed a single tear to fall down his small cheek, “I couldn't sleep because I thought I could feel her. I don't think I actually did, I think I wanted to so badly that I imagined it, you know like a phantom pain some amputees describe. I was laying in bed, my mom kept telling me that Trini loved me and that's all I could think about. I focused on the love I felt from Trini when we'd spar or when we'd have movie nights at Jason's. I focused on it and I wanted to feel her so badly, but all I came up with was this buzzing, almost like when your hand falls asleep. I wanted so badly for that buzzing to clear away and let me see Trini again that for a second I thought it did and for a second I felt her and I told her I loved her and that I was so happy I got to be her friend.”

Jason rubbed a hand over his face, “She loved you, too, Billy. She loved all of us, and she wouldn't want us to sit here and feel sorry for ourselves. We have a duty as Rangers and Trini knew better than any of us the responsibility that we carry. She'd want us fight harder than ever. Lord Zedd will be back and this time we're going to show him who the  _fuck_ he's messing with.” Jason clenched his fist in front of his face. 

Guilt twitched in Kim's stomach as Lord Zedd's gruesome masked face flashed through her memory. The sound of his laughter as Trini screamed through their coms  making her stomach turn . “How can I be a Power Ranger?” she said a bit louder than intended. Zack eyed her suspiciously, “How can I go out there as the Pink Ranger knowing that my back is wide open because Trini is gone? I can hardly get up in the morning, let alone save the world.”

“No,” Zack stood abruptly, “No! You do not get to give up on us!”

“Zack,” Jason warned taking a step between the black and pink rangers, “Tread carefully,  man, we're still a team.”

“ No, we're not.” Zack growled flatly, “ _Trini_ made us a team. Now we're just four losers pretending that we know how to destroy Zedd.”

“Zack, we will always be-” Kim tried.

“No! We will  _never_ be a team again!” he shouted storming past everyone. Not even Jason went after him. It would be  two weeks before anyone saw him again.

“Jason, is that true?” Billy, sweet, innocent Billy, asked, tears threatening to fall. Kim sat with her head in her hands not sure what to believe. Part of her knew Zack was right, but  all  of her wanted him to be wrong.

Jason sighed, defeated, “ I don't know what to believe anymore, Blue. Everything is so dark without her and nothing makes sense.” Kim had never heard Jason sound so broken, not after being kicked off the football team, not after his dad bore down on him about his grades, not after Billy died. 

All Kim could do was stare at the faces of  her teammates, wondering how the world could ever be beautiful without it's sun. Without  _her_ sun. Without Trini.

 

* * *

 

The sun was bright over the hill on which Trini was buried. It didn't seem fair to Kim. The birds chirped happily and the air smelled faintly of the upcoming summer.  _This is Trini's favorite weather._ Kim thought. She always said it reminded her of Billy's eyes. Warm and inviting. 

Kim took a deep breath as she approached the fresh mound of dirt,  two carefully chosen roses in hand . It had been a week since the funeral. A week since she'd last seen Zack. Two weeks since she'd last woken up to Trini's warm breaths ghosting over her ear, or her small hands curled into Kim's sleep shirt, or the brilliant glint in Trini's eye upon waking to see Kim smiling back at her.  Only fourteen days. Or possibly fourteen eternities.

If there was anything Kim missed the most it was the togetherness she felt just by knowing no matter what mistakes she'd made or would make Trini would always be there to tell her she was special and she was worth it. Now the sun was shining but Kim was shivering because despite the weather report reading “seventy-five and sunny” a world without Trini was a world without warmth.

There was a chess piece resting atop the granite grave marker that bore Trini's final words. “Oh, Zack.” Kim sighed and dropped to her knees. Closing her eyes she felt for him, tried to reach him, but all she felt was emptiness. Zack had clicked out. Jason had spent the last few days searching for him, dropping by his trailer only to find he'd come home in the mornings to check up on his mom and then again at night, but he never stayed.

Billy hardly left Jason's side nowadays and the Red Ranger didn't seem to mind. Billy's link had only grown stronger in the past couple weeks.  Kim could practically hear the thoughts of the Blue Ranger, feel the gentle pressure of his mother's lips on his forehead when she kissed him goodnight, taste the tears that bubbled down his cheeks when he thought of Trini. Kim wanted to help him, wanted to tell him everything would be okay, but she couldn't lie to her favorite brother. Besides, Jason was perfectly happy rushing to Billy's side in the dead of night when the boogeymen made their rounds. 

It was sweet, until Kimberly remembered how that used to be her job when it came to Trini, and how she wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in the arms of the smaller ranger the only thing missing: the cement ball that had been rolling around in her stomach, crushing the air from her lungs, filling her heart with longing and regret since that day.

Kim ran her finger over the simple line between dates. It was crazy to think that that small, insignificant  mark held so much meaning. A line that represented the rise and fall of the  _greatest_ superhero Angel Grove had ever known.

“I don't even know what I'm doing here.” Kim said more to herself than the empty box beneath the ground. “You're not even buried here. This is so...” she sighed deeply, “So heartbreaking.” Kim finished. Then, she gently laid the flowers at the head of the grave. Pink and Yellow.  The irony of the perfectly wound flower stems, the buds resting against each other so tenderly, left a sour taste in Kim's mouth.

Leaning her forehead to rest against the cool granite she allowed  a few gentle tears to trace a path down her cheeks and land, nestled between the rosebuds. “I miss you.” she whispered.

 

* * *

 

“You ready?”

“Nope. You?”

“Absolutely not. But, this is what she would have wanted.”

“Yeah. How's Billy doing? He looks like he hasn't slept in days.”

“He hasn't. I've been over there every night since the funeral. It's worse around three. That's when she used to have her nightmares, wasn't it?”

“Every night at three on the dot. Always the same dream. Always wanted the same thing.”

“You?”

“Me.”

Jason pressed his lips into a thin line. Billy was sitting under a tree waiting for Jason to walk him to first period. They had decided to meet in their normal spot in front of the school, despite missing two of the five rangers. Kim picked idly at a loose string on her skirt. Trini's beanie was tucked safely in her bag. She felt lost if she didn't have it on her person.

“Hey,” Jason gently stroked her hair, “You don't have to do this. None of us do. We can leave right now, make good on that promise.” he gave Kim a sly wink as he referred to the night Billy blew up the mine, the night Jason had dared her to run away.

“Jase,” Kim gave him a sad smile, “I could never leave Angel Grove. If I did, I'd be leaving her.”

He nodded his understanding and planted a gentle kiss on her temple, “Of course, but we can always skip out on class.”

Kim turned her attention to Billy who was excitedly flipping through his notebook. He must've been reaching the breaking point in his latest project. “No. No, if we don't do this now, it'll only get harder.  I'm more worried about Zack right now. Have you heard from him?”

Jason smirked as Billy clapped giddily then began writing, his hand moving fast than light across the page, “He's turned off the link. I can't even feel him.”

“Me neither. It's weird having both him and Trini tuned out. It's almost like going blind and deaf.” Kim searched her brain, just in case Trini-- Zack! She meant Zack. Just in case Zack had clicked back in.

“I'm not going to worry just yet.” Jason said pulling her into his side and squeezing her shoulders lightly. “If he was in danger the morphing grid would be spazzing out, right? I mean, it's still going nuts because of Trini, but we would know. We would.” he seemed to be more trying to convince himself than Kim. 

Kim only nodded before adjusting her bag strap on her shoulder and going to say goodbye to Billy before heading off to her first class.

 

If the barren feeling that trailed Kim through the halls wasn't enough to make her want to scream and pound her head off a wall, then the crying sure as hell would do it. And no, not Jason or Billy's tears, random students. Girls who had teased Trini relentlessly for months were dabbing their dainty little tears, football players who'd been responsible for all the horrible things written on Trini's locker day after day were sniffling or wiping their noses on their sleeves. 

Kim rolled her eyes, perfectly prepared to keep her head down and just suffer through the next seven hours until she could go back to the Pit and  slam putties until her fists were raw and lungs screaming for air. She was  _perfectly_ prepared that was until she saw the locker. Trini's locker to be exact.

It sat at the end of the business wing, as always, where she was thrown after moving in the middle of junior year. The end of the hallway was dark, the only light was what  landed on the smooth light gray surface of the locker,  shining in from the large, double glass doors. It was clean, repainted, not a nasty name or horrible word in sight. Kim approached it carefully, her lower lip trembling and her body cold. She didn't know why she had even come down here. Force of habit, she guessed, after six months of meeting Trini every morning in front of her locker.

The bell rang and the halls cleared leaving Kim alone with the ghost locker. There was a small mark on the freshly painted surface. Taking a step closer, Kimberly squinted. It was a crudely drawn crown with the word  _Princesa_ scribbled underneath. Kim froze, her breath catching in her throat. The last time she'd seen that mark was when her and Trini had been doing homework after training a few days before her death.

They had been sprawled out on Kimberly's bed, taking a break from their bio project, when Trini had pushed herself up on her elbow and grabbed Kim's arm. “What are you doing?” Kim asked hesitantly as Trini uncapped a black marker with her teeth.

“Hang on,” she said, her words muffled by the pen cap she still held in her lips. Kim watched carefully as Trini's hand moved deftly over the  smooth skin of Kim's forearm. “There, now you're mine,  _Princesa_ .” 

Kim took her arm back to admire Trini's work. A simple crown with Trini's nickname for her etched underneath, “I love it.” Kim smiled. Trini's brown eyes sparkled in the late afternoon light, her nose crinkling as she giggled happily leaning into Kim's chest. “I'm so happy right now.”

“Oh, yeah?” Trini pressed a  soft kiss to the crux of Kim's jaw, smirking against her skin, “And why's that?”

Kim swallowed a soft moan as she tilted her head to the side so Trini could trail slow, deliberate kisses down her neck. “I, uh-” she gasped loudly as Trini's hands moved to cup her breasts. “Trini, you make me happy.”

Trini pulled away, much to Kim's displeasure,  to stroke Kim's cheek, “Well, that makes me happy,  _Princesa_ , because you are so  amazing and I would spend the rest of my life doing nothing but things that make you happy.”

Kim swallowed thickly and pulled Trini in for a long kiss,  tangling her hands in the smaller girl's hair and tugging gently. Trini grinned into the kiss then bit down just hard enough to capture Kimberly's lip between her teeth, immediately accepting the almost whine the action emitted .

_Princesa. Princesa. Princesa._

The name echoed in Kim's head as Trini's hands traced the curves of her body. When Kim opened her eyes she swore she could feel Trini's hands tracing that familiar path once more, through her hair, down her neck, over her breasts and hips. Her breathing quickened as she ran her finger over the doodle. 

She dropped her chin to her chest and slowly backed away from the locker, Trini's voice still ringing loud and clear in her mind. She didn't go to class that day. She didn't go to the Pit either. And when Jason and Billy showed up at her door to check on her, she told her mom to tell them she wasn't home. Instead, she curled up in her bed, for the first time in weeks, and pulled the blankets over her head, hugging Trini's beanie to her chest and allowing herself to be enveloped in Trini's scent as she cried herself to sleep.

She heard later through Billy, who'd called to check up on her, that Jason had gotten himself suspended after overhearing Ty Flemming going on about how Trini wasn't “that big a loss”. According to Billy the fight lasted forty-three seconds and ended with Ty in tears and Jason screaming at him to never say Trini's name again or he'd be back. Kim's lips twitched into an almost smile at that. Jason would always be their fearless leader, protecting them, even in death.


	2. When You Said Your Last Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Kim stood stretching, her arms wide, something fell to the dust. She picked it up, her whole body shaking. “Zack! Jason! Billy!” she shouted, “Wake up! Wake up! Trini's alive! Trini's alive!”  
> “Jesus, Kim,” Zack groaned massaging his temples, “I have a wicked hangover, so if we could take it down a few notches that would be much appreciated.”  
> “Shut it,” Kim aimed an annoyed kick to the dust at Zack's feet, “Trini is alive!”
> 
>  
> 
> Kim is reaching her breaking point and Jason is struggling to keep his team together. It doesn't help that Kim is determined to prove Trini isn't dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from All I Want by Kodaline

Kim got the call at almost one in the morning on the three week anniversary of Trini's death. “Hello?” she answered groggily. She expected Jason because the Ranger Bond had woken her up twenty minutes earlier. Something was wrong with him or Billy.

Instead she was met with a brokenness she wasn't used to hearing from the boy on the other end. The Black Ranger had come home and he needed his friends.

“Kim,” he cried softly, “Kim, I miss her.”

Holding back tears of her own she focused all the love and strength she would normally have reserved for the Yellow Ranger's link into that of the bond that had been silent for an unbearable amount of time. “It's okay, Zack, I'm here. Where are you? I'll be right there.”

 

* * *

 

When Kim found Zack he was still alone. She had texted Jason and Billy, as soon as she got off the phone with Zack, and told them she'd found the missing ranger and he needed them.

Kim hadn't been to the cliff in almost two months. Two months. It was hard to believe that was the last time Trini had invited her to do yoga in her favorite place. 

There was a small fire in  the center of the flat surface. A tent was pitched about twenty feet away, and a pile of beer bottles littered the site. Zack had clearly been there for a little while. Why hadn't they found him earlier? Oh, right. Because this was  _Trini's_ spot and not a single one of them wanted to disturb it.

“Hey,” Kim said coming up next to her fellow ranger. He was sitting with his knees tucked into his chest, staring into the fire.

“Hey, Kimmy, what's shakin' bacon?” for a split second there was a flash of the old Zack and Kim couldn't stop herself from throwing her arms around him. At first , when his body stiffened, she was afraid she'd done something wrong, but that thought was soon diminished when he melted into her. 

“We've been so worried.” Kim cried against his neck, “ _I've_ been so worried. I love you, Zack, and when you tuned out the link I thought I was going to lose you, too.”

“ When were you going to tell us?” he sniffed once the two of them were sufficiently cried out.

“Tell you what?” Kim tilted her head in confusion.

“That you two were dating.” h urt was written all over his face, “Why didn't you tell us? Didn't you trust us? We would've been so happy for you guys.”

Kim bore down on the fire, her eyes burning as the flames licked at her vision. She didn't want to be reminded of what she might've had with Trini. “We didn't tell you because we weren't dating.”

Zack scoffed and pulled a cardboard box out from where it had been sitting, hidden by his body. After shuffling through it for a few minutes he must've found what he was looking for because he held a notebook in front of Kim's face proudly.

“What is that?” Kim asked reaching for it. She had no clue why she even asked because she knew exactly what it was. 

Trini's journal. The yellow leather bound book that Kim had always seen her friend doodling or writing in. Whenever Kim asked what she was writing the smaller girl would  smirk coyly and move so the book was hidden from view. Kim never pushed because she knew how much Trini appreciated her privacy, but she had always been curious.

Now, holding the small, worn book in her hands, it did n't feel right. These were things Trini didn't want anyone, not even Kim, to know. “I can't read this, Zack. It's Trini's. If she wanted me to know what was in here, she would have told me.”

Zack shook his head knowingly, an almost enlightened look in his eye, “Trust me, Kim, you want to read this.”

Kim's eyes flitted from Zack to the book and back to Zack before finally giving in. She tore open the latch and flipped to the first page with writing on it. 

_Pink and Yellow: Angel Grove's Own Wonder Women._ Kim smirked, the title was  _so_ Trini. Underneath the words she had drawn the Pink and Yellow rangers standing side-by-side in Lynda Carter's famous hands on hips pose.

Kim flipped through the pages slowly, making sure to capture every word, every drawing, every emotion as if Trini was breathing the tale into her b lood . The comic followed Kim and Trini as they defeated Rita and Goldar and then went on to  infiltrate a huge scheme mastered up by Ivan Ooze . It was nothing extravagant, it probably wouldn't even be all that interesting to someone who was reading it for fun, but Kimberly ate it up, swallowing every word greedily.

She was starting to wonder where Zack had gotten the impression that her and Trini were a thing when she began to notice the subtle changes in the way the Pink Ranger was being described.  She went from being  _pretty_ or  _funny_ to things like  _beautiful, enchanting,_ and  _perfect_ . It brought fresh tears to Kim's eyes.

“It gets more obvious.” Zack said when he noticed the look on Kim's face.

He was right. There was a particular string of blocks  toward the end where the rangers had just  defeated a wave of Ooze's ecto-morphicons and they were sitting on Kimberly's diving ledge surveying their bruises. Trini was helping Kimberly clean the blood from her split lip, her hand resting on Kim's chin.

_I feel safe with you_ _,_ the speech bubble above Trini's comical counterpart read, _If I had to choose any fighting partner in the world, I'd pick you every time._

Comic Kim smiled softly and reached out to stroke Comic Trini's cheek,  _You and me; nothing can get between us. It's us against the world._

_Us against the world_ , Comic Trini repeated,  _Forever._

Kim,  _real_ Kim, could feel Zack's eyes on her as  she  ran her index finger over the drawings trying to connect herself to the girl who had drawn the pictures. She couldn't feel her. Not anymore.

“How long were you guys a thing?” Zack nudged gently.

“We were never 'a thing'.” Kim closed the book and hugged it to her chest. “It was complicated.” she squeezed her eyes shut, not looking forward to the conversation that was to follow. Zack was about to find out everything his best friend had been keeping from him. “Please don't get angry, not at her. Be mad at me, I'll get over  it, but don't be angry at her.”

Zack took a deep breath before nodding, “I promise.”

Kim's stomach churned and her palms began to sweat. She hugged the book tighter, “We never got the chance to talk about what was going on between us. That's why we never said anything. We were just enjoying being in our own little world for awhile. I thought we were really getting somewhere, I mean, we had hooked up a few times and I was ready to have that conversation, you know?” Kim chewed her bottom lip anxiously. Zack wasn't saying anything, just nodding, taking it all in. “I think she was, too. She used to say things all the time about how one day she was going to make me hers, and when we'd skip out on training to do 'homework' we'd end up just laying in bed, trapped in our blanket bubble, and she'd look at me and say, 'I love it when I don't have to share you.'” 

Kim let out a little, shuddering breath, “I asked her once if she wanted to tell the rest of you guys that we'd been hanging out. She didn't want to. She never said why. I think she was afraid that the more people that knew, the more likely it would be for her mom to find out. I know she wanted you guys to know, though. She hated keeping secrets from all of you, especially you, Zack.”

Zack  shuffled a stick with his foot. “Did she kiss you first?”  his brow furrowed deeply.

Kim was taken aback by the question, “Huh?”

“I knew she had a thing for you. We used to talk about it sometimes.” 

“Really?” Kim felt a slight blush creeping over her cheeks. Of course Trini liked her,  _really_ liked her, but it still gave her butterflies thinking that Trini and Zack would talk about how much she liked Kim.

Zack chuckled, “Yeah, it was actually more like all the time. We used to sit over on the train car,” he gave a simple head nod in the direction of the abandoned car, “She could go on about you for  _hours_ , man. I told her one day that if she didn't buck up the courage to tell you how she felt I was gonna get involved, and you know how that would've turned out.” he winked.

Kim laughed, actually laughed, and for the first time in a while she allowed herself to be happy, even if it was just for that brief second. “Well, you must've inspired her. She cornered me after training one day and asked if I wanted to come camping with her and her family, said she would die if she had to go alone. I told her I'd love to go, and so we headed out that night, only she forgot to mention that by camping she meant hiking out to the middle of the woods to get drunk and high, and by family she meant alone.” 

Kim closed her eyes remembering the smell of campfire lingering in Trini's hair as the y curled up in their tent that night, the way Trini's focus was zeroed in on her lips,  how easy it had been to lean in. The kiss hadn't been perfect, not like the first kiss always described in fairy tales or movies, it had actually been a little messy. Both girls had been slightly buzzed – they had come to realize that along with their accelerated healing and strength came the inability to get drunk, of course they could always try – and extremely nervous. Technically speaking Trini had kissed Kim first, but Kim had been the one to escalate it, pulling Trini down hard so her body was flush to Kim's.  Trini's lips had been slightly off center, and in Kim's enthusiasm she had left a couple long nail marks down the length of Trini's bicep, but neither of them noticed. All Kim recalled was the heat and slickness of the other girl's mouth against her lips, neck, jaw, anywhere the smaller girl could get to. 

All the emotion and confusion that had been building in Kim's gut since Rita was being stoked like a fire, her mind totally enchanted by the scent of smoke and beer and lilacs; a combination that shouldn't have been good together, but because it was Trini, it made the perfect poison.

Of course Kim didn't tell any of that to Zack, she merely gave a small smile and said, “She kissed me.”

“I wish she was here.” Zack leaned back so his head was resting on his folded arms. “If you're still out there, Crazy Girl, come back. Your girl's waiting.” Kim sighed and leaned back as well, eyes fixated on the beautiful world above them.

Jason and Billy appeared twenty minutes later to find Kimberly nestled into Zack's side, his arms wrapped around her protectively, as they slept soundly.

“What's that?” Billy asked pointing to the book pressed against Kim's chest.

Jason took one look at the color and knew, “I'm not sure, but it belonged to Trini.”

Billy nodded as he moved around the site quietly, not wanting to disturb his sleeping friends. “Do we have to take them home, Jason? Do  _we_ have to go home?”

Jason understood what his  gentle friend was getting at. Just being in the place Trini had held so dear had forced the anxiety from his bones and purged his soul of all sadness momentarily. It was almost as if Trini was there with them. “No, Blue. We can stay forever if that's what you want.”

He and Billy shared a soft look before settling down on either side of their fellow rangers. Trini, dead or alive, would always be there, watching over them. Protecting them.

 

* * *

 

The first thing Kim  thought upon waking was  _home_ . The air was gentle and the arms around her welcoming. She had awoken from  a rather confusing dream. In her reverie she had come to her senses briefly in the early morning. The first thing she remembered thinking was how if this was a normal morning Trini would already be on the cliff. She had always liked to watch the sunrise while  doing her yoga . Kim had woken with a strange feeling, like someone was watching her. She had sat up and looked around. Zack was still fast asleep on her right and Billy was snuggled into her left side. She was smiling at the boys, thinking about how they looked so peaceful curled up like this was one of their normal sleepovers, when a sudden gut feeling made her glance up. 

There, just beyond the treeline, she could've sword she'd seen a flash of yellow. “Trini?” she called.  There was no answer, only rustling sounds that might've been retreating footsteps or a squirrel. Confused and barely awake, Kim laid back down, burying her head into Zack's chest. It wasn't until she was settled again that she noticed something odd. Something glinting in the newborn sun just steps from where her head had been. 

Curious, Kim picked it up. As she rolled it in her fingers she realized with a shock that it was a necklace. Each of the rangers had gotten one after they'd defeated Rita. Hers was a silver pterodactyl, Jason had a T-Rex, and so on. The necklace she held in her hand, though, did not belong to her. No, the silver saber tooth tiger dangling from the black leather rope had gone missing the day Trini had died, lost with her body.

Shaken, Kim  had  laid back down, the necklace still clutched in her hand, and gone back to sleep. Now, Kim was wide awake and the necklace was nowhere to be found. Chalking it up to nothing more than a strange dream she began to rouse the other rangers. 

As Kim stood stretching, her arms wide, something fell to the dust. She picked it up, her whole body shaking. “Zack! Jason! Billy!” she shouted, “Wake up! Wake up! Trini's alive! Trini's alive!”

“Jesus, Kim,” Zack groaned massaging his temples, “I have a wicked hangover, so if we could take it down a few notches that would be much appreciated.”

“Shut it,” Kim aimed an annoyed kick to the dust at Zack's feet, “Trini is  _alive_ !”

Th at got everyone's attention. Jason was staring at her wide-eyed and Billy looked extremely lost, Zack only looked mildly annoyed. “Kim,” Jason said slowly. “Take a deep breath.”

He was patronizing her, trying to convince her she was crazy, but Kim couldn't focus on that. Her heart was pounding in her ears, she could feel it expanding, could feel the blood rushing to different parts of her body. Everything was muddled in her mind, and she was honestly terrified, but none of that mattered. Her dream wasn't a dream. Trini had really been there, she had really left the necklace for Kim. Trini wasn't dead!

“I can't,” Kim almost shouted, “I have to go find her.”

“No,” Zack said sternly reaching out and taking her hand, urging her to sit. “Kim, Trini is dead. We all saw the crash. We all searched for her body. Her Zord was demolished, Kim. It exploded in  _flames_ . She's gone. Even the morphing grid is going nuts without the yellow coin.”

“N-no,” Kim stuttered, “That's impossible. I-I saw her.”

Jason gave her a pitying look, resting his hand on her shoulder, “Kim, this has been hard on all of us, but we've talked about this. There's no way she could have survived that explosion. I know that's not what you want to hear, but I don't know what else to tell you.”

Kim gripped the necklace in her hand. She could feel it's tiny features leaving indents in her palm, “But the necklace-”

“Probably fell out of the box of her things when I was showing you her journal.” Zack insisted.

Kim looked between Zack and Jason, each wearing mirrored expressions of worry, before turning to Billy. “Please, Blue. You believe me, right?”

Billy looked absolutely ter rified as his brown eyes flitted from Jason to Zack and back to Kim. “I-I'm sorry, Kimberly.” he swallowed thickly and dropped his gaze, tears shimmering on his cheeks, “I try not to rely only on facts, because even science can make mistakes, but the facts here are just too believable. Trini is dead. There's nothing else I can say.”

Anger bubbled up in Kim's throat like bile. Tears blurred her vision as she screamed at them, “Why can't you believe me?”

“Kim, please.” Jason almost begged.

“No!” Kim cried, “I hate you!” Jason's face grew pallid and his jaw clenched tightly as he dropped his chin to his chest. Kim wanted to stop but all the frustration and guilt that she'd been holding on to was poison on her tongue and there was no stopping it. “You didn't even try to save her! You're our  _leader_ . It's your job to protect us, right? Where were you? Where the fuck where you when she needed you? I hate you, Jason Scott, and I will never forgive you for letting Trini die.”

Jason didn't even try to defend himself. He took each word like a blow to the gut, sinking in on himself with each syllable, each bullet fired. Zack sat, open-mouthed, unable to move as Kim fell apart.

Billy was sobbing, his hands over his ears, rocking back and forth. “ Please, stop. Please, stop.” he whimpered. The old Kim would have immediately shut her mouth and rushed to Billy's side, apologized to Jason, hugged Zack. But the old Kimberly was gone, buried in that empty casket. 

The new Kimberly grabbed Trini's journal and the necklace and ran. She was hysterical and at this point she didn't even know if she believed herself.

 

* * *

 

Zordon called an emergency meeting two days later. Kim debated not going, she wasn't ready to face the boys.  She ended up going. She was a Power Ranger. Trini or no she still had an honor to uphold.

The command center was cold and hollow feeling. Kim could feel Jason's eyes on her as she approached Zordon. She didn't acknowledge any of them. 

The morphing grid buzzed anxiously in the center of the room. Sparks of energy shot out at different angles every so often.

“What's it doing?” Billy asked.

“Ah, good question, Master Billy.” Alpha clicked as he approached the remaining rangers. “It's searching for the coin. When Master Trini, uh, left us, her coin should have sent a signal to the grid before disconnecting until it would have been awoken only when it found another suitable ranger.-”

“That's not what happened?” Zack asked.

Alpha shook his head sadly, “No, I have been working for weeks trying to figure out if the coin has been breached or if it was destroyed, but I'm at a crossroads here. It seems the coin is stuck in a limbo of sorts. It hasn't been completely disconnected from Master Trini, it's still attached to something-”

“Um, Alpha.” Jason cut in, Kim could feel them all tiptoeing around her, everyone was watching her carefully, “Perhaps we should discuss this later. Just you and me.”

Alpha made a confused whirring sound, and Zordon cleared his throat, “Yes, Alpha, perhaps that would be best. Would you all please excuse us for a moment. Jason, Alpha, and I have important matters to discuss.”

Alpha gave the other rangers time to clear out before continuing, not realizing Kim had not left the ship. Her and Trini had spent so many hours searching the entirety of the ship for secret spots where they could be alone that Kim knew every hiding spot she could position herself in that would keep her within earshot, but out of sight.

“So, what you're saying is the coin is still communicating with Trini?” Jason asked.

“In a way, yes.” Alpha said.

“We aren't sure what's happening exactly.” Zordon explained. 

“ So, Trini's still  _alive_ ?!” Jason said completely ignoring Zordon. Kim's heart wa s racing, her mind already rushing to make conclusions, her hopes skyrocketing.

He and Alpha exchanged a glance as Jason paced back in forth in front of the wall. “No, Jason,” Zordon said, his expression softening, “That crash was deadly, even for a Power Ranger. There is no possible outcome other than death. The only other explanation Alpha and I can offer is that her death was so sudden and traumatic that the coin was not able to disconnect immediately so its power source is  still out there searching for someone worthy enough to accept the honor  of being the next Yellow Ranger.”

Jason grunted angrily and slammed his fist into the wall next to where Kim was hiding. She flinched. “Then why the hell won't it shut off?” Jason roared, “Kim is going insane. She thinks she's seeing Trini. She's tuned out the link. None of us expected her to even show up today.”

“Master Jason,” Alpha took a hesitant step toward the Red Ranger, “This is your team.  _You_ can bring them together.  _You_ can help them through this. I expect the coin to return to it's normal, dormant state in a few more days.”

“Those coins are as alive as you or me, Jason. They feel pain and they suffer just as we do.” even stuck in a wall Zordon was still able to seem small. “The yellow power coin has undergone an unimaginable tragedy just as you and the rest of your team have. It also needs time to grieve. Right now it's very likely the coin is reaching out, searching, trying to find anything to link it back to Trini's subconscious. It wants to believe she's dead as much as you or I. Once it has accepted it's fate it will become dormant and remain in wait until it finds the next Yellow Ranger. We just have to be patient.”

“I  _have_ been patient!” Jason cried, “My team is falling apart, Zordon. I don't know what else to do besides take Kim back up to that mountain and spend another week searching for Trini's body.”

Zordon sighed and shook his head, disappointed. “I can feel the rift that Trini's death has created in the dynamic of your team. Kimberly is not going to get through this easily, Jason. You have all lost a loved one, but Kimberly has suffered more. Her and Trini shared a, um,  _special_ connection. Her heart will not heal anytime soon.  You need to be open and forgiving. Understand some of the things she says right now may not be how she feels in her heart. By realizing this you can prevent any further destruction of your bond.”

Kim breathed quietly, Zordon knew about her and Trini? She felt guilty for listening in, but if there was any thought in Zordon's mind that the Yellow Ranger wasn't gone, she needed to hear it.

“Is that what you called us down here to discuss?” Jason asked.

“More or less. Alpha, please retrieve the other rangers.” Alpha nodded and quickly shuffled away, leaving Kim only moments to shimmy out of her hiding place and back into the hall.

“Where'd you go?” Zack asked upon seeing her, his voice low to keep Alpha from overhearing.

“Nowhere.” she deadpanned and kept her eyes forward not looking at anyone.

Once they were all back in the command center, pretending not to notice the obvious hole in their lineup, Zordon swiveled on the wall so he was positioned in front of Kim. “Rangers, it has come to my attention that your bond has been deteriorating rapidly. I have been lax with training, due to recent events I have been hesitant to push you. But upon my recent observation I have come to the conclusion that regular training sessions may help regain some of the unity that has been lost. With that being said, Jason,” he rushed to the other end of the wall, “I am instructing you to lead an emergency training session right now.”

“Right now?!” Jason let out a strangled breath that might've been a laugh or a cough, “You're kidding-”

“ Jason, I am sixty-five million years old. I assure you, I do not kid.” Jason closed his mouth and turned on his heel before stomping out of the command center, Billy and Zack hot on his trail.

Only Kim didn't move. She eyed Zordon skeptically. “I'm not crazy.” she said. 

His large eyes regarded her with something that looked like admiration. “I know, Kimberly. I don't believe you imagined seeing Trini, either.” he sighed and shifted in the wall so he was closer to her. “You humans have a strange way of dealing with emotion. You push it down and cover it up because you are afraid to accept the pain. By doing so you open your mind up to accepting things someone who has never experienced something similar could never comprehend.”

Kim was growing increasingly frustrated. No one believed her, they all thought she was just some depressed child who couldn't accept the truth. “ I know what I saw, Zordon. And I know Trini was wearing this necklace when she was thrown into that mountain. There's no way it could have been in that box.”  her fingers flicked to the pendant dangling my her heart. She had traded her ptero for Trini's tiger.

Zordon frowned, “You and Trini had a relationship unlike the ones you share with your fellow rangers. I understand it's hard to let go, and I would never ask that of you. All I ask is that you remember who matters most to you and remember them when you lose yourself again.”

Kimberly's eyes dropped to the floor in shame. Jason must've told him about their fight. That or he just _knew_. Zordon always liked them to believe he was all-seeing. “I will.” she mumbled before ducking out of the room.

 

Kim stepped into the Pit and looked around. It seemed so much bigger without her fighting partner. “Kim!” Zack called to her.

She didn't answer, kept her head down, and retreated to a corner to set her stuff down and morph before Alpha set up the putty simulation. Only, when she tried to morph she found she couldn't. It wasn't like the days leading up to Rita when morphing just wasn't something that came naturally. No, this was different. It was like there was a wall blocking her from the part of her brain that allowed her to morph. 

She closed her eyes and concentrated. Focusing on all the things that made her strong, that made her worthy enough to be a Power Ranger. Instead, she was met with Trini's smiling face and Trini's voice echoing in her head,  _Thank you for being my friends_ .

“Ugh!” she shouted and stomped her foot in the dirt, “What the hell?”

“You can't morph either?” Billy was behind her, his hand hovering just over her shoulder. She shook her head, defeated. 

“None of us can.” he slowly pulled his hand away and shrugged, “It's weird. Before I morphed the first time it felt like there was this other part of my brain I just couldn't reach. Now it's like that part has been erased. I can't feel it. I'm a little scared, Kimberly. I don't know how to explain what's happening.”

Kim nodded. “It's okay, Blue. We'll figure this out.” Billy blinked. He was waiting for something. “Listen, Billy, I wanted to apologize for the other day. I don't know what came over me. I love you, Billy and I really hope you can forgive me.”

He smiled warmly, even offering a small pat on the shoulder, “I understand, Kimberly. I'm still your friend. Jason is, too. No one blames you.”

Kim glanced over to where Jason was pacing angrily, hands tugging at his hair, his jaw set fiercely. “Somehow I have trouble believing that.”

Zack was sitting dejectedly on the rock he and Trini liked to sit on and talk smack while the other sparred with someone. “Alpha,” he said flatly, “What's going on?”

Alpha appeared in the open room. “I apologize, Rangers. Training will have to continue without suits until you can reconnect with the morphing grid. Do not worry, Rangers. This is only temporary. Sometimes the grid shuts down while undergoing immense amounts of stress. Zordon and I will get this all figured out.”

So, training commenced without suits. Kim found herself taking on three or four putties at once despite Alpha and Jason's protests. She needed to fight. That's all she wanted to do. At this point feeling pain was better than the suffocating numbness she'd been trapped inside. 

Kim jabbed and ducked and kicked and screamed. Everything else faded out until it was just her and the putties. They fought back hard. One knocked her in the mouth hard enough to send her spitting blood into the dirt. 

“Kim, maybe that's enough.” Jason called but she ignored him.

Kim ducked a putty and slammed her heel into the chest of another. It crumpled into a pile of rock and dust. Kim didn't slow down. She turned to face the two remaining putties, a smile on her face, but wait. Wasn't there three more? Pain erupted in her knee and she fell to the ground. Her leg was on fire, but she couldn't stop. She struggled to her feet, her injured knee buckling under her. Zack was shouting for her to stop, but there was no stopping, not when she was this close to feeling human again. 

Kim was back in of the center of town, Lord Zedd cackling in the distance, as Trini grinned at her from the seat of her Zord. “You and me against the world, right,  _Princesa_ ?”

“Forever.” Kim whispered as a putty knocked her in the temple and everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two and it only gets angstier from here! Seriously, though, I promise it'll get better;) as always thanks for reading and be sure to let me know in the comments if there's any mistakes. Check out my tumblr (@mmpranger-things) if you want to chat or see more of our precious ranger babies.


	3. What The Hell Would I Be Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth behind Trini's death is revealed. Kim continues her search to prove the Yellow Ranger is still out there.

“Hey, _Princesa_ , welcome back.” Trini's warm, husky voice filled the crevices of Kimberly's mind, bringing her back from the darkness.

She smiled as she opened her eyes. Trini's soft eyes taking her in, soaking up her presence. “Trini,” Kim whispered remembering how sweet the other girl's name on her lips was. They were bundled under the covers in Kim's bed. Trini must've taken her home after she got hit.

Kim couldn't take her eyes off the small girl leaning over her. It had been so long since Kim had seen her face and she wanted to re-memorize every detail in a whole new way. “Whatchya staring at?” Trini said softly, reaching out to trace her index finger down Kim's jaw.

“Nothing special.” Kim quipped.

Trini's laugh burst through the room like a sky full of stars. Kim's heart ached. She had missed that beautiful sound so much, missed how it seemed to fill the room and clear her mind of every horrible thought and feeling. “Oh, really?” Trini collapsed on top of Kim, burying her face in Kim's neck. She instinctively wrapped her arms the smaller girl, the scent of lilacs overwhelming her in a peaceful trance.

“Trini?” Kim breathed against Trini's hair.

“Hmm?” Trini hummed thoughtfully.

“I'm sorry.”

Trini snorted and pushed herself up on her elbow to run gentle fingers through Kimberly's wavy locks, taking extra care when she reached a tangle, “And what on earth do you have to be sorry for, _Princesa_?”

Kim swallowed thickly, her chest tight and eyes burning, “For letting you die.” memories pounded in the front of Kim's mind, screaming to get out, fighting to make her remember that day.

Trini's eyes were wide and full of love. The late afternoon light was like a blanket over her face, washing her silky features and rugged smirk in a hazy margarine sunset. “Kimberly.” she said letting the sound roll off her tongue like honey. “Don't you trust me?” Kim nodded numbly. “I told you it'd be us against the world. Forever.” her smirk slipped into a lazy grin, “You don't think I'd up and leave you, do you? Not when we have the rest of our lives ahead of us.”

Kim watched her hesitantly, “You're dead, though. I saw your Zord go up in flames. We searched for you for days and never found you.”

Trini pressed a light kiss to the center of Kim's forehead then the tip of her nose then slowly captured Kim's lips with her own. Kim allowed Trini to kiss her, allowed herself to remember how perfectly Trini's body felt slotted against her own, allowed herself to love and be loved once more.

Trini pulled away, her lips just a breath away from Kim's. “You didn't look hard enough. Come find me, _Princesa._ I'm waiting.”

 

Kim awoke with a start. Alpha's voice rang through the med bay. “Master Kimberly, your heart rate indicates severe stress. Would you like a mild sedative to help relax?'

Kim ignored him and swung her legs over the edge of the bed she had woken up in. It was the same bed she laid Trini in after she had gotten a concussion from a putty. Kim tried not to think about it.

“Master Kimberly?” Alpha tried again, “I suggest you rest a while longer. You have a concussion. It should be gone within a few hours, but only if you rest.”

“Alpha,” Kim stood. The room spun around her and her head throbbed painfully. She couldn't quite think right, it was as if someone had shoved a pillow in her brain, muffling all thought process. “I need to go back to that mountain. Trini isn't dead.”

Alpha mad a pitying clicking noise, “Master Kimberly, you are injured. You must rest. Please, allow me to call Master Jason-”

“No!” Kim rushed to stop Alpha from summoning the Red Ranger. “Jason won't believe me. None of them do. You don't even believe me, do you, Alpha?”

Alpha shook his head mechanically, “Aye yi yi.” he muttered. “Human emotions are incredibly complicated. I am going to fetch Master Jason. You are not to go anywhere.”

Kim glared at his back as Alpha left to find Jason. Huffing defiantly she crept from the med bay and slipped through a hidden latch her and Trini had found on one of their many secret rendezvous after training. The saber tooth tiger bounced against her chest in time with her heart beat as she ran from the ship.

As Kim approached the mountain dread filled her heart. She tried not to think about that day but she couldn't help it.

_“_ _Buenos d_ _í_ _as_ _,_ _Princesa._ _” Trini's smirking face_ _hovered above Kim's in the softness of the morning light. The sweet air cooled Kimberly's heated skin._

_“Good morning.” Kim smiled recalling the events of the night before. They had snuck away after training to have a small picnic and watch the sunset on Kim's favorite diving ledge. They hadn't meant to fall asleep, but at one point Trini had started singing and invited Kim to dance and after a few hours of being wrapped in Trini's embrace as they twirled around on the ledge, the taller ranger had grown tired._

_“Last night was fun.” Trini cupped Kim's face in her hand, teasing gently, “I didn't know you could dance so well.”_

_Kim snorted, “Yeah, I'm full of surprises.” she reached out to finger the saber tooth tiger charm dangling from the Yellow Ranger's neck,_ _guilt surging through her_ _. “_ _We're a team, you know.” Trini nodded expectantly, “We should tell the boys.”_

_The smaller girl's face drew up in a frown, “I want to, Kim, but you know why I can't do that.”_

_Kim sat up pushing Trini away in frustration, “No, I don't, Trini. All this running around, all this hiding, it makes me feel like you don't care, like I'm just some worthless fuck for you. I like you, Trini, I_ like _like you, and I want to tell our friends.”_

_Hurt was written across Trini's face, her eyes wide and sad, “Kim, you are so much more to me than a_ worthless fuck _. You make me feel like less of an outcast. When I'm with you I feel like I'm at the center of the universe and everything else means nothing because no_ _ne of it_ _is you. You don't know how much I want to tell people, especially the boys, but Angel Grove is a small town, and word travels fast, extremely fast to a woman who attends church every Sunday. If my mother ever found out she would pack us up and I'd be gone in a day. I'd probably die if I ever had to leave you. That's why we can't tell people. Not yet.”_

_Kim nodded reluctantly, “I know. I'm sorry for being so selfish. I just don't like lying to the boys.”_

_Trini leaned her forehead to Kim's temple and nodded against her cheek, “_ _You are_ not _being selfish_ _,_ _I hate lying to the boys just as much_ _and I promise you I'll figure everything out.”_

_Kim sighed contently as she stared_ _out_ _over the water, Trini's warm breaths easing over the crux of her jaw. Suddenly a loud beeping brought her out of her Trini induced stupor. She frowned as she checked her phone._

 

**Boss Man:** Where the hell are you guys? We have an emergency downtown. Hurry!

**Zack in Black:** yo! crazy girl! save the hart-eyes (get it? cause hart instead of heart? u no kim's last name? Ah u get it) for after we beat this baddie. where r u dude s ?

**Baby Blue:** Um, Trini, I know you told us not to bother you and Kimberly, but we have a major emergency in the park downtown. Please hurry.

**Tiny Tiger:** Sorry, guys we were busy. be there in 15.

**Hart-eyes:** Leaving now. What's up?

 

_ Kim's question was answered upon arriving at the park downtown. She could feel the electricity sparking through the air from a mile away and she could hear the evil cackle of the creep they were to be fighting from just as far. As the girls got closer Kim was finally able to get a good look at whatever it was that was causing such a commotion. _

_Civilians were running around like crazy, some stopped to watch as the pink and yellow rangers made their way through the carnage to meet the rest of their team. Kim spared a glance at her fighting partner. Trini was walking with her head tall, her back straight, her chest out. She was proud to be a ranger, always would be, but Kim could sense the nerves tingling across the bond. She couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen._

_ “I am Lord Zedd! Bow before me!” the masked creature shouted.  _ _ His armor was similar in color to Jason's, except Zedd had reflective “T” shaped silver plates covering his chest as  _ _ w _ _ e _ _ l _ _ l as his arms and legs. His mask pulled down over his jaw in a way that reminded Kimberly of a cartoon knight. A horn like plate jutted up from the front of his helmet topped with a “Z” that matched his spear. _

_ Kimberly swallowed her hammering heart as lightning crackled around them. Trini, sensing her fear, slipped her hand into Kim's for a brief, reassuring, moment before releasing it to wave to the boys. _

_“Zedd,” Jason growled as the girls approached, his voice muffled by his mask. Billy paced anxiously fingering his blue power lance. Zack rushed to Trini's side pulling her into a quick hug, his axe slung across his back._

_“What's his deal?” Trini asked shoving Zack away, her own daggers materializing in sheaths around her waist._

_“The Zeo Crystal, of course.” Billy jumped in, “He claims he is bigger and stronger than Rita and from what I've observed his statements prove to be true. He's not going to be an easy takedown. We_ should _be able to take him. Just watch out for his spear, it seems to have some sort of-”_

_“He can manipulate electricity.” Jason stopped the Blue Ranger with a slight nod, “Thank you, Billy. As long as we steer clear of the tip of that spear we should be safe.”_

_“Alright!” Trini let out an excited whoop, “Let's take this mother fucker down! You and me, right, Princess?”_

_“Forever.” Kim said fiercely as she lifted the bow from her shoulder and loaded up an arrow._

_ “ _ _ C'mon, Rangers, let's show this guy who he's messing with.” Jason yelled from behind them as they took off toward Lord Zedd. _

_ “Aha! The Power Rangers, I'm going to be honest, I was expecting more. You five will do, I guess.” Zedd cackled as he threw a _ _ n arc of lightning in Jason's direction. _

_The electricity hit the Red Ranger square in the chest sending him flying back through the front window of a bookstore across the street. “Jase? You alright?” Trini's voice echoed in the coms._

_“Yeah,” Jason croaked, “Yeah, I'm good. Just keep going!” he directed._

_“Silly, Rangers, you think you can take me?” Lord Zedd chided._

_“You are really fucking annoying, you know?” Trini shouted, a dagger in either hand. Lord Zedd's head whipped around to face the Yellow Ranger, his attention immediately zeroed in on her. Fear tiptoed down Kimberly's spine. She could feel the cockiness pouring through the ranger link._

_“Trini,” she warned, “Be careful. He's not Rita.”_

_“Relax, Princess,” Trini drawled, “I got this.” Kim brought her bow up as Trini raised her daggers and launched herself at the red villain. He chuckled as his spear clashed with Trini's blades, using one arm to summon an army of humanoid looking creatures dressed completely in gray with large Z inscribed chest plates._

_“What the hell are those?” Zack shouted, dodging an arc of electricity._

_“Putties, I believe.” Billy replied. He had been standing off to the side, taking a moment to observe his surroundings before jumping in, he wanted to be sure of Zedd's tactics before taking any chances. “Zordon told me about them, I think. They're called Putty Patrollers. I don't know how to defeat them, though.”_

_ Kim was firing bows into the backs of the Z-Putties as fast as she could, but they just weren't going down and more were appearing as they went. Zack was shouting  _ _ encouragements _ _ as  _ _ he struggled with three putties. Billy had finally joined in, swinging and punching, his lance discarded for the time being.  _

_ Jason was off somewhere trying to keep civilians safe while still keeping putties at bay. Trini was still facing off with Zedd alone. Kim was trying her hardest to reach them so she could protect the smallest ranger, but the putties were never stopping.  _

_ Suddenly Billy yelped out and Kim's heart dropped. “Billy?” Jason yelled through the coms, “Billy, what happened?” _

_ “It' _ _ s _ _ okay guys.” Billy chirped, “Hit the Z on their chests. That's how we kill them!” _

_ Kim shrugged and threw her bow to the ground, it would reappear when she summoned it back, in favor of her fists. She ducked a kick from one of the putties and popped back up nailing the creature in the jaw. It stumbled back in surprise, defenseless for just a moment, but in that moment Kim was able to give it a swift kick to the chest. It exploded into rock and dust in a small  _ poof. 

_ “Cool.” Kim muttered happily. The Z-Putties were closing in on her, but Kim could do nothing but grin. The adrenaline was rushing through her veins, she wasn't even tired, she just kept fighting.  _

_ At one point she heard Trini's strained groan through the coms and worry overtook her senses. She allowed herself to be distracted for a brief second, glancing over to her yellow-clad friend who was on her back, Zedd's spear hovering an inch from her face. Kim could feel the panic rising in her throat. The world slowed down and the fighting seemed to pause. _

_ “Trini!” she screamed and the small girl turned her head to face Kim their eyes meeting for a split second behind their masks. Then a putty knocked her feet out from under her and everything resumed. “Jason, please!” Kim begged,  _ _ as a putty slammed it's foot down on her chest. Her breath left her and the fighting grew dark. _

_ Wheezing, Kim pushed herself back to her feet. She watched as Jason charged Zedd once more, distracting him just enough to allow Trini time to regain her strength. Relieved, Kim turned back to her own fight.  _

_ After successfully taking out a large number of Z-Putties, acquiring quite a few bruises and possibly a couple broken ribs in process, Kim surveyed her surroundings. Billy and Zack were struggling with the last few creatures and Trini and Jason were ducking electric shocks  _ and _ Zedd's fists. He wasn't going down fast. In fact, he only seemed to be getting stronger. _

_ “Zords.” Kim mumbled. “Guys, the  _ _ Z _ _ ords, that's how we can beat him. There's no way he can take on the five of us protected by giant killer robots, right?” _

_ “Good idea, Kim!” Jason grunted, “We'll keep things under control here. Hurry, please.” _

_ “Be back in five.” Kim shouted as she dashed through the streets of downtown, hopping overturned cars and crumbling buildings. Stopping only to help people out of the streets or away from flaming vehicles. _

_ “Alpha!” she shouted when she arrived at the ship. _

_ “Master Kimberly? What are you doing here? Downtown is still under attack.” Alpha said as he wandered into the Pit.  _

_ “Yeah, yeah, I know.” Kim panted, “Listen, we need the  _ _ Z _ _ ord _ _ s. Can you help me, please?” _

_ “Of course, Master Kimberly, but I must warn you,” he followed her into the cave where the Zords rested when not in use, “If you get struck by Lord Zedd's electric bolts while in your Zords there is no telling what could happen. They could malfunction or worse.”  _

_ “Yeah,” Kim brushed him off as she boarded her Ptero, “We'll be fine. Thanks, Alpha.” she relaxed and focused on becoming one with her Zord. She grinned as she felt the robot come alive around her. It made a slight whirring noise and greeted Kim with a happy click. _

_ “Let's go.” she  _ _ cried _ _ as she took off, the other Zords following behind. _

 

_ When she returned to the scene the first thing she noticed was Trini lying on her back in a pile of broken glass and damaged bricks. Zack as standing in front of her, blocking Zedd from coming near her. Jason and Billy were side by side, more putties surrounding them. Zedd was  _ _ observably _ _ closer to the Krispy Kreme, closer to the Zeo Crystal.  _

_ Kim rushed in firing at Zedd as she did. The boys cheered as their own Zords clomped toward them. “ _ _ Thanks, Princess.” Trini's exhausted voice came over the coms. Kim's body relaxed noticeably upon hearing the smaller ranger sounding more okay than not. _

_ “Billy! Zack!” Jason shouted. “I want you two at Krispy Kreme. Protect the crystal at all costs. I'm going to try to keep these putties from leaving the park. Kim! Trini! You got Zedd?” _

_ “On it, Boss.” Trini quipped. Kim could hear the smirk in her voice. _

_ Together Trini and Kim cornered Zedd. His angry shouts echoing over the valley. “I will not be defeated by a tiny little girl in a tiger nor a coward in a pink airplane. Come down here and fight me like a real hero!” _

_ Trini growled in Kim's ear, “Kim is  _ not  _ a coward! She's more a hero than any one of us!” it was like a damaged circuit in Kim's brain suddenly clicked and she knew what was going to happen before it even happened. Maybe it was the ranger bond or maybe Kim just knew Trini. Whatever it was she could do nothing but watch in horror as Trini charged Lord Zedd with her saber tooth tiger. _

_ His laugh would stain Kim's nightmares and leave scars across her soul. It all happened so fast. One minute Trini's Zord was pouncing at top speed and the next the tip of Zedd's spear was connecting with the metal of the robot sending it flying backwards  _ _ with unstoppable momentum. Trini shrieked over the coms, electricity cackling in the background, then an earsplitting crash as she collided with the mountain. Metal and rock crumbled, twisting and screaming, mixing with Trini's whimpers and labored breaths. "Thank you for being my friends." Trini whispered. Then the explosion. The other four rangers watched in horror. Flames and smoke overtook the crash site. A buzzing sound began at the base of Kim's skull. Trini's bond had gone dead. Civilians screamed in the streets, children cried. _

_ Everyone knew the yellow ranger was no more. _

_ The rest of the fight passed in a blur. Kim could feel nothing but  _ _ fury _ _ multiplied by the anger of the boys. Together they surrounded Lord Zedd. His laughter died down and was replaced by Jason's screams. Tears blurred Kim's vision. Sobs wracked her body as she jumped from her Zord, ignoring the boys shouts to stay in her Ptero. Her fists collided with the rough texture of Zedd's suit. She moved at a speed she didn't know she was capable of, leaving no time for Zedd to even defend himself. _

_ Eventually Lord Zedd was on his back, his spear missing in the rubble, hands over his face to protect himself. “I'll kill you!” Kim shrieked each word punctuated with a fist.  _

_ “You can't stop me. I'll be back, petty rangers!” and with a loud snapping sound he disappeared in a crack of lightning. _

 

_ They searched the rubble of Trini's Zord for hours that night and the mountain even longer. Kim only allowed herself to cry under the cover of darkness as she waded through waist high piles of rock and dust calling out for Trini softly. The girl's body was nowhere to be found.  _

 

Kim approached the crater where the tiger had landed with bated breath. Jason had had Alpha send the other Zords to collect the remaining pieces of the robot. It was currently under repair back at the ship.

There was an eerie shadow draped over the crater sucking the slightest hint of life out of even the smallest remaining plant life. The closer she got to Trini's final resting place the louder the buzzing in the back of her head grew.

Ever since Trini's link had been severed abruptly the bond had kept up a steady buzzing. Most times it was almost impossible to notice, but whenever Trini's name was mentioned or even when someone was thinking of her the noise increased. At the particular moment in question the humming was enough to drive Kim to her knees.

“Ah,” Kim groaned grasping as her temples in attempt to alleviate some of the pain. She tried to feel for the boys, maybe they could feel the pain as well, but the other three links were being drowned out by the invasive noise. 

Kim collapsed to her elbows, then to her side. Curling up into a ball, she began to cry. From the pain in her head to the suffocating anger and longing for the lost Yellow Ranger,  Kim had no idea how she would make it off the mountain intact. 

“Trini,” she panted, “Please, if you're here, please make it stop.” there was a long pause where Kim continued to groan and dig her nails into the dirt. Then, it stopped. The pain, the buzzing, the anger, everything. 

Kim shot up into a sitting position and for the second time she could have sworn she saw a flash of yellow darting through the tree line. Not wasting a single second Kim bounded to her feet and took off after the flash.

“Trini! Wait!” Kim dodged trees and low hanging branches jumping over fallen logs, not really sure what she was chasing considering the color had disappeared the second she noticed it. Pausing to catch her breath, Kim glanced around. She was in a part of the woods they hadn't searched. The sun had set before they could reach the clearing she was  currently  standing in and, despite Kim's cries and her pleading, Jason had called off the search.

It was rather beautiful, the clearing, the sky overhead was a soft blue and the trees looked almost angelic with light shining through their branches. The warm air smelled of gentle wildflowers. It was enough to almost lull Kimberly into a trance. She might've shut down right there and allowed herself to sleep forever in that quaint little meadow if she hadn't seen it. It being a crumbled ball of paper, weathered down and  faded .

Wide-eyed and trembling Kim reached for the ball, unraveling it slowly. It was a note Kim had flung at Trini during one of their many dreaded Saturday detentions. 

_ Wanna hang at KK tonite??  _ Kim had written.

_ Not unless you can write out words like a normal person. _ Trini had answered then punctuated her response with an adorable smirk that made Kim's head spin.

_ Srry, no can do. R u coming or no? I no u won't pass up  _ _ a few hrs alone w/ me.  _ Kim had zipped the note back and eagerly awaited it's return. Instead she was met with a tiny laugh and a ringing bell. She had never gotten her answer.

But here it was, Trini's reply, the note she never thought she would see again.  _ Hilarious, Hart. I would love to spend the afternoon at Krispy Kreme with my favorite mean girl. Can't wait. _

Kim hugged the note to her chest. “One more chance,” she wished aloud, “Just one more chance to tell you everything I didn't.” there was a rustling somewhere beyond her line of vision, drawing her gaze to a sliver of yellow that could have been anything from a beam of light to a flower. Kim closed her eyes and hoped. “I love you, Trini. I'm in love with you, and I can't live without you.”

There was silence around her, the yellow streak didn't move.  Upon shifting her weight Kim could see it was only a patch of bright flowers, but suddenly, like a whisper, the word  _ Princesa  _ carried through the trees on a gentle breeze. 

Something big was coming and Kim knew it would change everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Sick of Losing Soulmates by Dodie. There's only gonna be like three more chapters maybe four depending on how many plot points I can manage to get in without making this sound rushed. As always thanks for reading and any comments or critiques are very much appreciated :) Check out my tumblr (mmpranger-things) if you wanna chat or see more of these precious children. And happy holidays to my friends in America or anyone celebrating today!


	4. You Cry A Little In The Dark; Well So Do I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim has given up. Trini is gone. Never. Coming. Home. as Kim puts it. The yellow coin has stopped firing and even June has accepted her daughter's death and begun to move on. Maybe Kim was wrong all along. Maybe it's time for her to say her goodbyes and focus on just being Pink and not Pink Lemonade.

Kim was sitting, legs crossed, on the floor of Zack's trailer when the doorbell rang. She glanced up, her focus shaken momentarily, from her knight. She really sucked at chess, but she couldn't just say no  to a game , especially not to Zack's mom.

The doorbell rang again, more insistently this time. Kim glanced around for Zack. His mother was resting on the couch, propping herself up with an elbow as she studied Kim, trying to predict her next move.

“I don't know where Zack went,” Kim said as she shuffled to her feet, “Would it be alright if I answered the door?”

Zack's mom smiled warmly and nodded. Kim had been trying to learn Mandarin, Trini had been teaching Kim what Zack had taught her, but she still wasn't comfortable enough to speak more than a few words of it to her friend's mom. 

Kim was expecting one of the other rangers  and was shocked to see a woman a few inches shorter than herself huddled into herself. “Kimberly?” the woman said with equal surprise, “What are you doing here? I was expecting Zack.”

“Uh,” Kim stammered. There were a million things she wished she could say to the woman, but there was no getting past those eyes. The gold specked chocolate swirls that she fell in love with. Except the eyes she was staring into now were riddled with pain and exhaustion, and telling tales of a hundred sleepless nights. 

Mrs. Gomez dropped her gaze to the dusty ground, “I'm going to be honest, I was really hoping to avoid you.”

Kim choked down the lump that was holding her words hostage, “Yeah, um, why?”

Trini's mom cracked a s ad smile, “Seeing you only reminds me of how much love Trini had in her heart and how horrible and wrong it was for me to deny her that love. She really cared about you, Kimberly. You made her last months truly special.”

The doorway was spinning and suddenly Kim needed air. She stepped outside, closing the door behind her, not wanting to risk Zack overhearing their conversation. “ You knew, didn't you?”

June sighed and sat down on the edge of the porch, watching Kimberly to ensure she followed suit. “It's complicated, Kimberly. I knew after that horrible terrorist attack by that strange woman that something was going on with Trini.” June was staring at her hands, twisting and wringing them. “She was suddenly so much happier. She talked more and she started leaving her room. There was a few weeks when she had these horrible night terrors, where she would wake up screaming, then they stopped.”

Kim knew why they  had stopped. Once she found out Trini ha d resolved to staying awa ke all night to avoid the nightmares, Kim made her promise to leave her window unlocked. Kim would slip out as soon as the terror would tickle her spine and minutes later Trini would be in her arms, sobbing. She always slept better with Kim there.

June seemed to read her mind. “I know you were the reason she stopped screaming. One night I thought I heard her talking to someone so I went to check on her. I  saw  her asleep in your arms. I would have been furious, and frankly  offended, if I hadn't been so relieved she was finally sleeping.”

Kim locked her eyes on a hill in the distance. Just beyond that hill was an abandoned train car where Zack would watch Trini doing yoga in the early mornings.

Kim could feel June's unease as the woman spoke, “I think I knew there was something more between you girls, but I didn't allow myself to think about it. I made myself believe you were just friends, and the more she talked about you the harder it became to keep convincing myself. I was afraid, and because of that I was a horrible mother to her. I  forced her into becoming someone she wasn't. I probably made your relationship very difficult and for that I am truly sorry. There were so many things about Trini that I resented, so many things I wanted to change, only because I wanted her to have an easy life. I never wanted her to struggle the way I've seen some of these other,  these other-” June hesitated, either searching for the right word or not wanting to say it. 

So, Kim spoke for her, “ _G_ _ay_.  Trini was gay.”

June pressed her lips into a thin line, “Yes. I didn't want her to have to live in constant oppression the way I know most _gay_ people do. I just wanted her to have a good life.”

June looked at Kim, the last of her resolve crumbling as she wept silently, “I'm so sorry for the way I treated her, and I wish I could take all those years back. I would give my own life to see her again and tell her how proud I am of her.”

Before Kim could stop herself she slipped her hand into June's and gave it a comforting squeeze. “I, uh, I loved her, you know. She made me a better person.”

June nodded, “She was special that way, wasn't she?” they sat together for a moment before June reached around herself. “Here,” she handed Kim a medium sized cardboard box labeled in Trini's handwriting.  _ My shit.  _ June chuckled when she noticed Kim reading the words, “I really didn't get her sense of humor. Anyway, that's just some of the things we found cleaning out her room. Marcos and I,  we couldn't quite understand some of the objects in there, but we figured you and the boys might want  them .”

Kim stared at the box dumbfounded. It was weird to think June just had to accept her daughter's death. She didn't know about the morphing grid and she didn't know about the still firing power coin. She had no clue of the random flashes of yellow or the necklace. All June knew was what the other rangers had told her.  There had been an accident in the mines, and they had searched for Trini's body but never found her.

“Thank you.” Kim managed, but June was already halfway down the path on her way back to town.

 

* * *

 

 

The box sat on Kim's desk, unopened. She rolled over onto her side so she didn't have to see it. She had left Zack's earlier, box in hand, without saying goodbye.  She remembered something Zordon had said after the battle with Lord Zedd.  _ Be reminded to keep in touch with your emotions. You are humans first and heroes second.  _

“Keep in touch with my emotions.” Kim let out a long breath, “What the fuck does that even mean?”

There was a soft knock on her door. “Kimberly?”

Kim groaned, “What?”

The door creaked open and her mom stuck her head in, “Hi, sweetie. How are you feeling?” Kim rolled her eyes and said nothing. “Honey, please talk to me. Your father and I are worried. You don't ever leave your room when you're home and when you do leave it's to disappear for hours at a time.”

“ I get busy, mom.”  Kim snapped wanting to roll away from the door but not wanting to look at that stupid box. 

Maddy sighed and stepped in the room closing the door gently. “Kimberly, your father and I have been talking and we think it would be a good idea, for all of us, if your father takes a few months off work and I take a bit of a sabbatical and we head to Europe or maybe Mexico or Australia. Anywhere really. You can write to Angel Grove Community and ask if you can start in the spring instead of the fall.”

Kim squeezed her eyes closed, the buzzing had begun at the mention of Mexico. Trini had once told Kim about her grandmother's funeral in  Mexico – Kim couldn't quite remember where exactly – she had come back furious over how small-minded her family was, but with a new appreciation for her Latina roots. 

“How was it?” Kim had asked after crawling through Trini's window late one night.

“You know my parents are with my brothers in Inglewood for the rest of the weekend, you could have used the door.”

Kim shrugged nonchalantly and flopped back on the bed, her head at Trini's hip, “Old habits die hard, I guess.” she  rolled over so she could lay her head in Trini's lap.

Trini scoffed teasingly, “You're so needy.” but she began carding her fingers through Kimberly's hair.

“You love it.” Kim hummed her eyes flicking closed automatically, “You never answered my question. How was it?”

Trini shuffled down so Kim's head was on her chest. Pressing a soft kiss to her temple Trini continued to shift her hand through Kimberly's raven locks, tugging slightly. “It was shit.” Trini's laugh reverberated in her chest.

“I'm sorry.” Kim whispered, trying her hardest not to fall asleep, but Trini's soft words and gentle fingers were making it so much harder.

“Don't be.” the smaller girl shi ft ed once again, this time so she could drag her nails in soothing circles across Kim's back,  drawing a shudder from the Pink Ranger. “It wasn't all bad. I learned a lot about my abuela and the things she had to do so that my father could make it to America. My cousins are pretty cool, too. We got to eat a lot of authentic Mexican food and my cousin, Tessa, tried to teach me how to make Aguas Frescas. I don't blame her for what happened, I mean, how was she supposed to know that I can set literally anything on fire without even provoking it. My  tía was pretty angry that we almost burned down the kitchen so there was that.”

Kim snorted, “You are, like, the  _ worst _ cook.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Trini muttered, “Anyway, my mother was on edge the entire time because  my father's family hates her or some shit. So, everyday she would find something else to rag on  _ me _ about. Whether it was how I was dressed or how I needed to talk more. Everyday it was like this cement block was being pressed down harder and harder on my chest.” she sighed and gave Kim a tight squeeze, “I'm just so fucking happy to be back. Especially right now, right here, with you.”

“You're so cheesy.” Kim giggled, burying her face deeper in Trini's chest.

“ You love it.” Trini mimicked.

_ I love you.  _ Kim tried to say but she was already asleep, only Trini's soft touches anchoring her to the world.

 

“–  Kim? Kimberly?” 

Kim shook her head clear of all thoughts of Trini. “What? Can you just leave me alone, please?” she snapped.

Maddy looked hurt but didn't leave. “What do you say, huh? A nice vacation. Get out of Angel Grove for a few months.”

“No, mom!” Kim cried sitting up, “No, I can't fucking leave, okay? I'm bound here for the rest of my life, staring at that stupid mountain, walking past that awful cemetery, having to ignore all the things that remind me of Trini for the rest of my miserable goddamn life, okay?!” Kim stormed out of the room grabbing the box on her way.

“Kimberly, get back here!” her mother yelled down the hall, “Where the hell are you going?”

“I'm a fucking Power Ranger, mom. I have shit to do.” she mumbled, unsure whether or not her mom actually heard her.

She called Zack as soon as she was outside. He picked up on the third ring, “Hey, Princess, where'd you go?”

“Please, don't call me that.” Kim could hear the edge in her voice, but no one was allowed to call her  _ Princess _ , ranger or not.

Zack must've realized his mistake because he began apologizing profusely, “I'm so sorry, Kim. I totally forgot.”

“It's fine, Zack,” she sighed. “Just please call Jason and have him pick up you and Billy to meet me in the mines.”

“ Is everything okay? I thought you didn't want to see Jason.” she could hear Zack shuffling around, probably getting his mother dinner or something.

“ I don't, but we're a team and we have to move past this.” Zack sighed on his end. Kim knew he just wanted them to be a team. After he'd gotten over his little breakdown and sorted out his anger, Zack had been the one pushing them and trying to keep them all together. “I'm angry, Zack.”

“Just as you have a right to be. But you can't be angry at Jason, this isn't his fault.” he argued.

Kim  let out a long loud  breath as she shifted the box on her hip and shivered in the late afternoon wind. Why didn't she grab her coat on the way out? Oh, right. Because it wasn't her jacket. It was one of Trini's bombers that she'd left at Kim's after one of their many “study” sessions.

“ I don't think I'm angry at him.” Kim admitted, “I mean, I am a little. He was the one who sent the two of us in there alone to face Zedd. He could have been there. You and Billy could have been there. At the same time, though, I'm really angry at myself. She was defending  _ me.  _ She got herself killed because Zedd was mocking me. I can't stop thinking that if maybe I had stepped in, or said something, she wouldn't have been so rash.”

Zack chuckled gently, “You know there's a reason I called her Crazy Girl, right? She would have done the same thing no matter what. I can't tell you how many fights I've broken up between her and Amanda's crew. She would have gone to the ends of the earth for you, dude. She loved you.”

Kim couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face, warmth  diffusing through her chest. “Thanks, Zack. That means a lot.”

“I know, Pink. Listen, I want you to make up with Jase tonight. He cares about all of us and it's killing him to see you like this. And another thing, I want you to try to stop feeling so guilty about Trini. There's nothing you could have done. She was crazy and reckless and one hell of a Power Ranger. It was bound to happen some day.”

Kim nodded silently, “I'll see you in fifteen.”

“Ditto. Bye bye, Pink.” he hung up and Kim wiped the tears from her windburned cheeks.

She was caught between t w o never ending seas. No matter where she turned she was left heartbroken and confused. Either Trini was alive and playing with her mind, trying to drive her insane, pushing her over a cliff of guilt and misery. Or Trini was dead. Plain and simple. Never. Coming. Home.

 

* * *

 

“ Hey.” Kim said setting the box down obnoxiously when she arrived at their bonfire pit.

Jason stared at his hands, refusing to meet her eyes. He was picking at his fingernails anxiously. Billy was next to him, one hand on his best friend's shoulder, eying the box suspiciously. “Hello, Kimberly, what's in that box?” 

“Hey, Kim-Kim, what up with the box?” Zack looked up from where he was trying to start the fire.

“Jason,” she said ignoring the other boys, “Can I talk to you really quick?”

He nodded wordlessly and followed her just out of earshot of the other boys. They stood awkwardly for a bit. Neither knowing what to say. Finally, Jason spoke, “What do you want, Kim?”

She took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair, she had forgotten to brush it again. “I wanted to apologize.” Jason narrowed his eyes warily, “I spoke to Zack earlier and he helped me realize how unfair I was being. I'm angry, Jase, I'm angr y that you put me and Trini against Zedd alone and I'm angry at myself for letting her die. I'm pretty angry at the entire world right now, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry for what I said, Jason. You're a great leader and Trini knew that.  _ I _ know that. I would be honored to fight by your side again, and when Zedd comes back, we will defeat him,  _ together _ .”

Jason's eyes were brimming with tears. He looked away and wiped at them with the back of his hand before opening his arms and accepting Kimberly into his embrace. “I love you, Kim. I'm glad we're okay again. All I want is for you to be  alright , and I know it's going to take a while. I'll be here for you the entire way.” he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

Kim pulled away and stared into his eyes. There was a time when she thought something could happen between them, but now she couldn't imagine them being anything more than friends. Jason was her brother in every sense of the word. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” he smiled. He looked much better nowadays. Perhaps he was moving on. Kim wished she could, too.

“I need you to be completely honest with me. Do you believe, even a tiny bit, that Trini might not be dead?” she held her breath. Kim was tired of this hopeless confusion, tired of not knowing where to go, tired of her friends  having to tiptoe around her because they were worried. Whatever he said, she would believe. 

Jason hesitated, looked like he wanted to say something different than what he actually said, “There was a time that I thought maybe-”

“Jason, please.”

He dropped his gaze to the ground, “No. The power coin stopped firing today. I don't think there's any other explanation.”

Kim nodded, swallowing back the fresh tears rising in her burning throat. It was time for her to start moving on. Trini was dead. Kim was left standing. The future she'd always planned, the future built around Trini, was gone. Now the future was uncertain and a little scary. A new day was on the horizon and Kim didn't know if she was ready for it.

 

Back at the fire pit, Zack had gotten a warm blaze going. Billy was sifting through the box. Jason peered over his shoulder. “Is that-?”

“A pink Power Ranger action figure?” Zack shot a smirking glance Kim's way.

“I'm sure she had all of us.” she said brushing it off. 

“Nope.” Billy riffled around some more. “Just pink. Maybe they were all out of yellow. Or maybe she was  collecting them all but she died before she could finish.”

“I don't think so, Blue.” Zack patted him on the back, “Yo, Kimmy, you wanna tell us something? I think these two deserve to know.”

“Know what?” Billy glanced around the fire, “Jason, what are they talking about?”

“I don't know, Blue,” he fixed his gaze on Kim, “What  _ are _ they talking about?”

Kim sighed, defeated, “Um, Trini and I were, I don't know, hooking up, I guess you could say.” she waited for any of them to say anything, but nobody volunteered. “I wanted to tell you guys, but there were a lot of factors, and besides, we weren't really  _ dating _ . I don't even know what we  _ were  _ doing. We never got the chance to talk about it. I'm sorry we didn't say anything.”

Jason nodded before crossing the site to give her another hug. “I had no clue. That's why her death has been so much harder on you, huh?”

“Well, it hasn't been easy.” she tried to joke into his neck but it came out as more of a sob.

Billy joined them, even leaning over to hug her back for a few seconds, a rare moment of human interaction that always made Kim feel so lucky. “ We all love you, Kimberly, and I'm sure Trini loved you, too.”

“Thanks, Billy. I love you guys, too.” Kim smiled at them as she leaned against Jason's chest, his arms wrapped around her protectively.

“I have an idea.” Billy chirped. “Why don't we tell some of our favorite Trini stories while we go through this box.”

“Oh, boy!” Zack clapped his hands together loudly and pulled out an oversized yellow sweatshirt. “This! This is my  _ favorite  _ Trini story.” he laughed as he pulled the shirt over his head. It was big even on him. Kim smirked  imagining how mad Trini  must've been , but how adorable she  would've looked drowning in that sweatshirt.

“Man,” Zack frowned, his eyes getting glossy as he was thrown back into the moment. “I found these sweatshirts one day while mom was in the hospital. Trini was worried about me. She wanted to do something fun so I suggested we go to the mall and try to pick up chicks. We ended up walking past this store with these really nice sweatshirts in the window. I saw her looking at this one and I suggested she buy it. She told me her mom would throw a fit if she spent her money on a men's shirt. I knew she liked it though so later, after  she'd gone home, I went back and I bought two. I got one that would fit her  and then I got this one. I think it's a double XL. I gave it to her in a bag and when she pulled it out I thought she was gonna punch me.” he chuckled and sank lower in the shirt, inhaling deeply.

“It still smells like her.” he glanced up making eye contact with Kim, “Anyway, it came down almost to the floor and she was just glaring daggers at me. Then, I pull out the real one and she just starts grinning  and she launches herself at me.” Zack chortled. Jason and Billy were smiling and Kim was sitting with her eyes closed trying to picture every detail. “She hugged me for like ten seconds before she pulled away and punched me in the face. Then, she was like, 'If you ever tell anyone about this I will punch you again.' and that was that. I didn't think she even kept this one. I figured she must've gotten rid of it, but it smells so much like her that she must've worn it a few times.”

“I'm sure she did.” Billy said.  He stared into the box for a moment before gasping and pulling out a stack of papers. “ Jason. Jason!” Billy's link flared at the back of Kim's mind. Whatever those papers were they were causing him a great deal of emotion that he clearly was not used to handling.

“Billy, what is it?” Jason reached out but quickly withdrew his hands not wanting to upset the boy any further. “Billy, deeps breaths, okay? Breath with me.”

Billy ignored him. He hopped to his feet and began pacing, rustling the papers in his grip as he sputtered out  incomprehensible syllables. “Trini-”

Kim could feel the panic rising up through Billy's chest. She could also feel the frustration. He was getting over-excited and was unable to communicate how he was feeling. Eventually he dropped the papers and sat down right in the dirt. He alternated between clapping his hands together uncontrollably or handflapping.

Kim sidled up next to him. “Hey, Blue.”  she began gently. Billy looked at her wide eyed. “Let's you and me take a minute to calm down, okay?” he nodded, his head bobbing up and down so fast Kim was surprised he didn't give himself whiplash. “Why don't we lay back and count the stars. That always helps me clear my head.”

Billy said nothing, he just flopped  back and squinted at the sky. Kim counted with him. After about five minutes Billy sat up, his fingers twitching, eyes closed, and chin tilted down against his chest. Another two minutes passed before he spoke, spiting word s out rapid fire. “Three months ago I went over to Trini's house to help her watch her brothers while the rest of you wer e busy. While I was there I got a really great idea and Trini wouldn't let me start working on it until I told her what it was because she wanted to help. I had this plan to build these watches that would connect to the morphing grid giving us the ability to morph even when our subconscious minds are so disconnected that we can't morph. That way we would never be in a situation like we are in now where we can't morph. I told Trini and she was so excited she offered to help. So for the next two weeks we drew up plans and blueprints and we worked out all the kinks and we were getting ready to build a prototype when Alpha asked me to start working with him on repairing some parts of the ship that are still damaged. I put the prints aside and they disappeared. I thought I lost them but I guess Trini had them the entire time-”

“Billy,” Jason interrupted, “ Take a breath, Blue.  I think this belongs to you.” he pulled a smaller box out of the bigger one and tossed it to the Blue Ranger. 

Billy opened it without hesitation and then burst into tears. “She built them. I know Trini was my friend but I didn't think she actually cared enough to listen to me. We weren't close like her and Kim or like her and Zack. I didn't even think  our bonds were that connected. She was my  _ friend  _ guys. She really was and she liked being with me enough to build these.” he held out the box so the others could see five small wristbands nestled amongst some velvet fabric. There was one for each of them.

Kim took hers out and pressed a button on the side. It flashed on, a bright pink pterodactyl flew across the screen before displaying all the information the morphing grid currently had on the Pink Ranger.

“Do you think I could morph if I pressed this button?” the other rangers were too enamored with their own watches to pay her any attention. One way to find out.  _ Fingers crossed _ . Kim thought as she selected the morph option blinking on her screen.

There was a flash of pink light and a couple whoops and hollers  from  the boys. Kim opened her eyes and laughed happily. “Fuck yes, Trini!” Zack cheered.  Kimberly was fully suited up. 

“You're amazing.” Kim whispered to the girl in the stars. Trini had given them a fighting chance against Zedd, if he ever decided to make his return. 

Billy let out another happy sob, “She made the real things. She didn't just make prototypes. She made the real things!”

“She loved you, Blue. Look at this.” Jason was flipping through the stack of papers. “ Here,” he handed Billy some of the papers. Kim could see Trini's near illegible handwriting. There were dozens of notes  written in the margins, some complimenting Billy on his idea, others making suggestions. Trini had clearly planned to give them back to the Blue Ranger along with the wrist morphers.

“I think this is my new favorite Trini memory.” Billy said admiring the sleek design of the morpher.

“Anything else in that box?” Kim asked.

“Just this.” Jason held out a white envelope, Kim's name scribbled across the front. She just stared at it.

“What's wrong, Kim berly ? Aren't you going to open it?” Billy asked. Jason and Zack shared a look.

“Billy-” Zack started.

“No, it's fine.” Kim kept her eyes locked on her name,  _ Kimberly,  _ written in what must've been Trini's best attempt at good handwriting because it looped and swirled. In the corner where the return address should have been was Trini's signature mark. The crown and Kim's nickname,  _ Princesa _ . “Maybe someday, Blue. Just not yet.”

The rest of the night was full of booze and Billy's country music as they laughed and sang and recounted stories of Trini's goofiest moments. Kim allowed herself to be happy, allowed herself to take the first steps in moving forward. She wasn't forgetting Trini, no. She was simply beginning to remember Trini as someone that made her undeniably happy, someone that even in death the memories of whom could still make her undeniably happy.

They fell asleep under the stars that night, their bodies entangled, their minds at ease knowing Trini was still protecting them, still loving them, still with them. Kim smiled as she slept, the illusion of a familiar pair of lips ghosting over her forehead and a small hand wiping away the fresh tears that had fallen involuntarily. Trini was gone, buried with their past. Never coming home. Never leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Letter to Hermione by my personal favorite David Bowie. We're in the final stretch here guys. I know I said three more chapters but I have an undeniable talent for being able to crunch plot points without rushing the story so one more chapter left! All your questions will be answered in my next update! Is Trini dead or alive? I would love to know what you guys think so leave your answers in the comments or hit me up on Tumblr (mmpranger-things) for more ranger action and to be updated on my newest fanfics in the works. Thanks for everything guys and I hope you're all ready to get some answers ;)


	5. Baby You Look Happier, You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been months since Trini died and Kim finally feels like her life is getting back to normal. Unfortunately normal doesn't exist when you're a Power Ranger.

Kimberly took a deep breath. The sticky summer air smelled like pine needles and campfire smoke. A few months ago she wouldn't have imagined herself standing there without being overcome by thoughts of Trini, but now she was sitting at the edge of Trini's yoga cliff thinking about her future.

Lord Zedd hadn't given them any signs of a return in the last few months. Jason was on edge all the time, he was pushing them harder than ever in training,  _ Zedd will return and we're down a ranger, down our strongest hand-to-hand combat fighter. We're gonna train until we're doing these take downs in our sleep, guys. _ Jason had said holding a tissue under his bloody nose.

Maybe Zedd would never come back. It was wishful thinking and Kim knew it. She was afraid, just as she was before Rita, but there was a fire burning in the bottom of her belly, and the only way to extinguish it would be to kill the man who had killed her girl. 

A gentle wind blew through the trees rustling her hair and kissing her cheeks. There was an envelope burning away in Kim's back pocket. She carried it with her everywhere never knowing when the time to open it would be. She wanted it to  be perfect, wanted the sun to be rising in a peach colored sky, wanted the air to be warm but not suffocating, wanted the breeze to smell like flowers and leave her heart wanting when it passed.

The timing would never be perfect. Could one even consider the word  _ perfect _ when reading the last words of the girl they loved?  Kim shook her head clear of all discretion and pulled the letter from her pocket running her thumb over the worn indents Trini's gentle penmanship had left against the paper. 

Kim felt like a schoolgirl as she mused over her choices, picking petals off a flower reciting that stupid mantra.

_ She loves me. _

_ She love _ _ s _ _ me not. _

_ Open it. _

_ Throw it over the cliff and pretend my broken heart is all better. _

Either way, Trini would still be dead and Kim would still be relearning the basics of breathing. “No time like the present.” Kim took a deep breath, capturing the air in her lungs trying to keep the last moments of okay-ness locked inside her because anything could be written in the letter, and Kim had learned that time and emotion were fragile.

The envelope was folded and worn so it opened easily. Kim removed the letter with trembling hands.  It was hard to read at first. Kim couldn't make her eyes focus, it was as if her brain was fighting her. A chill ran down her spine as she willed her mind to settle. She let out the breath she forgot she was holding an d instinctively took the saber tooth tiger pendant between her fingers and pressed it to her lips once before she began reading.

 

_ Princesa, _

_ There are a million reasons why I shouldn't have kissed you that night. There are a millions reasons why I should have kept running that day at the cliff instead of letting you pull me over. There will always be a million reasons, just like there will always be a million stars in the sky, or a million lightning bugs floating through the woods. But like that single star that shines brighter than all the rest or that one lightning bug that stays lit longer than the  others , I only needed one.  One reason to  kiss you and one reason to let you pull me over, again and again and again. _

_ I've spent my whole life running from things that scare me. I was a sheltered kid, never allowed to face my problems head-on because the second I came to an obstacle my parents would pack us up and move us all over again. I never learned that sometimes fear can lead to brilliant things. You scare me, Kimberly, the way I feel about you scares me. I wake up every morning with this sense in my gut that I'm going to screw up and I'm going to lose you, the one thing that makes me feel less like a tragedy and more like a human just finding their way. _

_ That fear drives me, though. It pushes me to do impulsive and crazy things, like inviting you on a camp out, under the ruse of my parents forcing me along, just so I could get you alone to kiss you. I don't know what the hell I'd be if I hadn't met you. I used to think I had no reason even talking to other people because I'm not like anyone else. I don't fit in and I never will, but you took my hand and you showed me that people like me can do amazing things, solely because we aren't being held back by this notion that we have to fit in and we have to be like everyone else. _

_ I know I've never told you this, but after Rita I was in a really scary place. I thought I would never sleep again let alone be able to live with the fear of Rita looming over me, but the first night you came over and you just laid with me and listened to me cry, I had never felt so safe. All you did was hold me and tell me it would all be okay, and it probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but no one has ever cared about me enough to  just let me  _ be _ . There's a home in you I've never felt with anyone else. _

_ I was broken when you found me, Kimberly. I was a messed up kid with some messed up thoughts and you didn't fix me, because it wasn't your job to do so, but you gave me the courage to fix myself and I want to do the same for you. _

_ As I said, there was a million reasons for me to be a coward that night, but I only needed one to kiss you. And right now I only need one to give you this letter. I don't care what anyone else thinks anymore, I look at you and it's like the moon was something you built and hung in the sky just for me. So, here I am asking you to be my girlfriend. I'm not a coward, I have my reason.  I am in love with you, Kimberly, I have been since the first day we met. I could spend the rest of my life just trying to make you smile, and I would never be happier. _

 

Kim folded up the note and pressed it against her chest inhaling deeply. The paper still smelled like Trini. It all left a melancholy taste in Kim's mouth. She wasn't sure i f she should feel sad over Trini's words, sad over the scent of the girl who could have been hers, or happy, happy that Trini loved her too, happy that she got the time she did with the other girl.

A bird sang in the distance and a breeze blew through the trees whispering sweet nothings into Kim's subconscious. It had been hard, moving on, but in moments like the one in question she knew Trini was still looking after her. After all she had said  _ forever _ , right?

There was an anger in Kim's heart and a rush in her veins that needed to be dulled. She needed to say goodbye in a way that could quench those flames and push her forward. No more Trini. No more anger/guilt/sorrow/depression. This was her life and she wasn't going to sit on the sidelines for the rest of it.

 

* * *

 

A couple days later Kim was laying in her room, fidgeting with her wrist morpher, trying to get it to display the time so she could hide it in public, enjoying her rare few hours of free time. She was so lost in thought she didn't notice her phone buzzing by her leg until it stopped and a text blinked across the screen.

 

** Aisha:  ** I swear I'm going to punch Zack! He sits in the back of Trig and makes faces. It's so distracting!

** Kim:  ** At least he's going to class though

** Aisha:  ** True true. Meet me at the mines?

** Kim:  ** Sorry, can't today . I just gotta do something.

** Aisha:  ** Alright cool. I'll be there if you change your mind.

 

Aisha Campbell had shown up  a month after the fight with Zedd. The short dark-skinned girl had waltzed into Kim's fifth period biology class like she had all the time in the world. She had the same sass, the same  _ I own the world _ demeanor, as Trini had had. It bothered Kim at first how the other girl had seemingly slipped into the hole that Trini had left in all their lives, filled it with such a fullness that conversations seemed to float over Trini, not around her as they had when she had first died.

Aisha had taken Trini's old seat, her old locker, her place in the group, and arguably her place beside Kim.  She had even gone to the same community college as the other rangers. Of course that didn't stop Kim from missing her old friend. Aisha wasn't Trini, but she was there and she made Kim happier.

On that day, Kim was laying in bed texting Aisha when a knock on her window urged her from her bed. “Hey, Pink.” Zack grinned from his place on Kim's windowsill. “Nice  bedhead.”

Kim stuck her tongue out at him, “What do you want, Zack?”

His expression grew grim, “Alpha wants us to help him clear out Trini's room on the ship.”

Kim's heart dropped to her feet, “Why? It's fine where it is. No one minds it.”

Zack sighed and leaned his head against the frame. The  September sun beat down on his slightly tanned forehead. He had on a black tank and black basketball shorts. He looked good, but Kim couldn't stop herself from imagining Trini in the same getup. She looked better. “It's been five months, Kim. Zordon says the grid has started acting up again. He thinks a new Yellow Ranger could show up any day now, they're gonna need a room.”

Kim let out an agitated huff and disappeared into the bathroom to change. “I don't want another Yellow Ranger, Zack.”

“And you think I do?” he called from his place in the window. Zack was sweet in the way he never entered Kim's room without her inviting him in. Most times he wouldn't even come in then. He would come into the house, raid her kitchen, ruin her bathroom, but would never set foot in her room. 

Kim and Zack had become closer than Kim would have ever expected after Trini. He was the only one who seemed to understand all the weird feelings of anger and guilt she'd been having.  He knew her hurt better than anyone else.

“Zack,” Kim said, her voice small as she exited the bathroom, “I don't think I'll be able to do it. That room is Trini's-”

“But it's not, Kim.” Zack furrowed his brow like he  was fighting himself as well as Kim, “That room belongs to the Yellow Ranger, whether that's Trini or someone else. This needs to be done.” he smiled gently as Kim crossed the room toward him taking his outstretched hand, “This doesn't mean we're forgetting her, we're honoring her by continuing as Rangers. We fight for her from this point out. We're never going to forget her, okay?”

Kim nodded, chewing on her lip anxiously, “Alright, let's go.”

 

Clearing Trini's things out of the ship wasn't as hard as Kim thought it would be. Perhaps it was because Trini had been gone for so many months that not  seeing her amongst their ragtag group had become almost normal.

Kim thought she would cry when she walked into the room. Instead she laughed. Trini had posters of various hard metal bands lining the walls and pictures of her and her fellow rangers on the desk next to her bed. “She is literally the definition of 'looks like they can kill you but is actually a cinnamon bun'.” Jason said picking up a photo.

“Dude!” Zack laughed as he picked something up off the bed. “ She was so fucking  _ whipped. _ ” Zack shook his head as he tossed whatever was in his hands in Kim's direction. She caught it and turned it over. It was pink and less than 10 inches tall.

“Is that a Pink Ranger plushy?” Jason was doubled over, tears streaming down his cheeks as he gasped for breath. Zack was right there with him, laughing just as hard. Billy was looking around like he missed the joke.

Kim's face was hot with embarrassment, but at the same time she found it extremely endearing. Trini seemed to have collected any Pink Ranger item she could find. “Thanks, Tiny.” she muttered, ducking her head to hide her smile.  When the boys backs were turned she tucked the ranger toy into her bag.

It didn't take long to clean out the room. After years of moving Trini had learned to never settle so there really wasn't a lot to take out. When the walls were bare and the bed stripped of sheets the remaining rangers stood in the center of the room. There were only two boxes of stuff. One held posters and photos and the other held a few shirts, a couple pairs of jeans, and the yellow bomber they had all thought Trini was wearing under her  armor the day she died. 

“So?” Jason asked, looking around at his fellow rangers.

“So what, Jason?” Billy gave him a confused look.

“I know none of us wanted to do this, how is everyone feeling?” he gazed around, eyes lingered a moment longer on Kim and Zack.

Zack sighed, “I don't know, man. It's weird. My brain feels a thousand times lighter. I love Trini, but it hurts to have to walk down the hall everyday and see her room and all of her stuff sitting here collecting dust. I feel like we're honoring her more by allowing ourselves to take these steps.”

They all turned to Kim expectantly. “I kind of agree.” she admitted. “Trini spent her whole life trying to be as insignificant as possible, she hated attention, she would want this for us.” and for the first time Kim wasn't just telling them what they wanted to hear. 

Most mornings  K im would wake up and the first thing she would think about would be Trini, but the days Trini wasn't the first thing on her mind were becoming more and more frequent. At first Kim had felt guilty about it, but after a rant session with Zack at his train car where he had helped her realize it was a natural reaction to the loss of a loved one, she had learned to accept that things were changing. By learning to deal with the fact that life wouldn't be the same she had found it was easier to begin taking baby steps toward healing.

 

* * *

 

Kim had gone back to school a few weeks after the funeral. She had finished her senior year. She had pushed forward despite wanting nothing more than to curl up and sleep forever. And sure, it was hard, it would always be hard. She was a Power Ranger for fuck's sake her life was destined to be one boss battle after another. In this case the fight was life and death, more precisely wanting to live and wanting to die.

In all the commotion and turmoil of the aftermath Kim hadn't gotten the chance to say a proper goodbye to Trini. 

Kim packed her things in a small duffel bag and left a quick note to her parents letting them know not to worry if she wasn't home when they got back. Shouldering her pack she began the familiar hike over the mountain to the mines. 

There were a hundred things Kim had wanted to share with Trini, but this short trip would have to suffice. In her bag was Trini's beanie, Kim's favorite photo of the two of them, and the saber tooth tiger necklace. It was as if she was carrying the best parts of Trini right next to her heart.

By the time Kim reached the mines the sun was already setting behind the mountain. She shivered despite herself. Six months ago Trini would have been by her side, slipping a jacket over Kim's bare shoulders at the slightest sign of discomfort, a small gesture only Kim would know was Trini's way of showing her love.

“Here we go.” Kim said standing with her back to the chasm and letting her body fall back. The water below was cold, but Kim took a deep breath and propelled herself downward.

She burst into the Pit and was immediately met with a warmth that was uncharacteristic for a normal underground cave, but not for theirs. During  winter training the rangers had begun to complain about having to swim through the icy water only to freeze in the Pit. 

After weeks of ragging on Zordon, Jason had managed to convince him to allow Alpha to install various heating units throughout the cavern, keeping it comfortable. 

Kim wandered over to the center of the training Pit. So many memories filled her mind. From sparring with each other in the days leading up to Rita to training with their weapons, Kim loved every moment of being in the Pit, and she was sure Trini had too.

Kim knelt down and began prepping a fire ring. The fire burned evenly, a golden hue pouring over the walls mixing with the reflection of the water dancing over the rock structures. The smoke didn't overwhelm her like she worried it would, it seemed to float up and dissipate before touching the water.

Kim closed her eyes, trapping herself in a private serenity, allowing herself to remember everything she loved about Trini one more time. She could feel the gentle brushes of Trini's fingers along her spine, smell the lilacs of Trini's shampoo, taste the sweetness of her mouth, hear the galaxies bursting forth as Trini laughed.

Kim opened her eyes, smiling as she pulled the beanie and photo and necklace out of her bag. The hat no longer smelled like Trini, but Kim didn't care. She laid the objects out in front of the fire. She could have sworn the fire sparked bright yellow at the placement of the items.

She picked up the photo and stared at it, running her finger over the line of Trini's jaw. The tightness in her chest was back and she was swallowing her tears. Photo Trini smiled up at her.

“I read your letter the other day.” Kim said, her voice echoing hollowly through the cavern tunnels. “I  love you, too, Trini. I know I never got the chance to tell you, so I'm telling you now.” Kim turned the picture over and over in her hands. “You made me a better person. I walk around Angel Grove and I don't feel like a giant fuck up anymore. I feel like a hero, and being with you did that to me. You're not here anymore, but you're not gone. After all it's you and me forever, right?”

 

“Kim, wake up.”

“Master Kimberly, have you been here all night?”

Kim sat up, rubbing her eyes groggily. Alpha was staring down at her, clicking and whirring worriedly. Jason was right next to him, Billy peering over his shoulder. Zack was on her other side kneeling by her head. “Hey, Pink.”

“Hey, guys. What's going on?” Zack offered her his hand and helped her to her feet. She noticed they all avoided looking at the almost shrine Kim had created the night before. 

“Zordon called us in for an emergency meeting.” Billy said as they hurried to the command center. “We think it might have something to do with Lord Zedd. After all, he has been rather quiet lately. He hasn't even sent putties which I assume he would do to try to throw us off his scent, but he's gone completely silent.”

Kim's stomach twisted anxiously. She never wanted to have to see Zedd again because she knew, when it came down to it, the other rangers wouldn't matter, the Zeo Crystal wouldn't even matter, it would just be her and Zedd, Pink vs Red, to defend the death of the Yellow Ranger.

Jason pulled her aside before they reached the command center, “Were you here all night?” he asked, his eyes searching her face for any sign of distress.

Kim nodded, trying not to meet his eyes, “Yeah, I needed to say goodbye to her. You know,  _ really _ say goodbye.”

Jason gave her an understanding smirk, “ I'm happy you're feeling better, Kim. No matter what happens in this meeting with Zordon, just know that Billy, Zack, and I will be right behind you to pick you up when you fall down and pull you along when you think you can't run anymore.”

“Thanks, Jase.” Kim pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek. She had no idea what she would have done without Jason to back her up in the last few months.

Jason and Kim entered the command center, hand-in-hand, to find Billy and Zack staring angrily up at Zordon. Zack was in the middle of saying something, only to be cut off by Jason.

“What's going on in here?” Jason yelled over the commotion. “What the hell is this, Zordon?”

“Rangers,” Zordon looked over them grimly, “These last months have been the most difficult you've ever encountered, correct?” they all mumbled their agreement. “I loved Trini as well. She was a great ranger and a powerful fighter. She will not be forgotten. But Trini's time has passed. A new Yellow Ranger has risen.”

Kimberly's heart dropped to her feet. Her hands grew clammy and she struggled to catch her breath. Somehow she knew, before she turned to the door, who the new Yellow Ranger was.

“A-Aisha?” she stuttered out, “What are you doing here?”

Aisha smiled brightly from the doorway, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room. No one moved as the new girl crossed the command center to the morphing grid, the yellow power coin, Trini's coin, on proud display in her hand. Kim could practically hear the beating of Billy's heart as he flicked his eyes from Zordon to Aisha.

“Hey guys!” she chirped, “I found this coin on the mountain the other day and it led me here. Is this why you guys can never hang out after school? Because you're the Power Rangers? And now  _ I'm  _ a Power Ranger?!” Aisha was spitting out questions faster than Kim could process. 

The world  was suddenly spinning a lot slower than normal and everything was getting dark. “Breath, Kim.” Jason whispered to her, his hand finding the small of her back.

“Master Kimberly, our systems indicate your heart rate is rising at an increased pace and you are not breathing properly.”

Jason grabbed her hand, “You can do this, Kim.  _ We _ can do this. Focus on your breathing.” 

Kim closed her eyes and took a minute to steady her breathing, to pull herself back from the edge of a panic attack. This was  _ her  _ life and she would not be sidelined because she couldn't handle change. No, Trini was gone. Never. Coming. Home. This was Aisha's time. They were the Power Rangers and it was their duty to fight the scariest enemies to keep their town safe, even if those enemies were their own minds. 

Zordon continued speaking, he didn't want to accept this reality either, but he was their adviser, he needed to accept this despite his feelings. “I expect each of you to do your best to welcome Aisha and show her what it means to be the new Yellow Ranger-” 

“What's this about a new Yellow Ranger?”A voice echoed around the room. The four rangers and Aisha turned to the sound. There was Trini, standing at the top of the steps like she'd never been gone.

Aisha was the first to speak, “Hi, who are you?”

Trini smirked, her eyes raking over Kim's form, clearly already trying to make up for lost time, “I'm the Yellow Ranger. Who the fuck are you?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Happier by Ed Sheeran. This is it guys! Thanks for sticking it out if you did. As always thank you so much for reading and comments are always appreciated! I have a few oneshots in the making and I may or may not make a part two so keep an eye on my tumblr (mmpranger-things) for updates:)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry. It's worth it in the end though. Title from 10am Gare Du Nord, chapter title from We Might Be Dead By Tomorrow by SoKo. As always comments are appreciated and check out my tumblr (@mmprager-things) to yell at me or just scope out the dope shit I have on there;) Please let me know if there's any mistakes (I've read over it a hundred times but I always miss things) and thanks for reading!


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